A Prayer

Merciful Spirit of God,

Move Thou across the chaos of this, the deep and dark waters of my life.

Cast the shadow of the wings of Thy presence over the chaos of my heart:

Over my raging at the unseen and fearful powers I feel tearing me asunder, powers I cannot name, powers I have begged Thee to rebuke, yet they surround me still;

over the evil I find myself doing, the evil I hear my own voice speaking; the desperate things I do to bring this despair to an end in my own ways, in my own time;

over the places within me shattered by my despondency at Thy "No" to my cries and longing for Thy help;

over the places broken because Thy hand did not stay the brutal and unspeakable evil that assailed me;

over the sadness that has crushed my fragile hope,

over my faith that has been ground to desert dust.

I fear for life itself. The night is so vast, the darkness swells and rolls within me. I am helpless against it.

O Lord, hear my frail voice before it goes still, before I cannot find the faith to beg Thee any longer for Thy hand to heal my wounded and broken heart.

I lay this, my chaos before Thee.

O Unbegotten Genesis, O Spirit of God, pass over the face of these my dark waters and let there be Light once more. Divide the waters of my tears, dry my eyes with Thy gentle hand. Create in me all manners of wild and glorious things, constellations of joy, seasons of work and rest, places of lofty things, places of deep mystery, places of firm footing. Let Thy Spirit work its Holy terror within me, let it gather up what has been broken and shattered and create something wonderous of Your sacred imagining. Then will I know certainly Thou art indeed the Creator, the bringer of order within me, O Savior of my body and soul. Amen.