Friday, January 06, 2006

The Next Best Thing

For background on this photo see my post on "Pop Tarts" in the archives to the left.

They don't make a "Pop Tarts" baking set, so my oldest daughter and step son bought me my own Twinkie making operation. I'm set. Its Pop Tarts now, Twinkies are next. Believe me.

Yeah, its a slippery slope folks, and yes, it CAN happen here even in America, ESPECIALLY in America! When Kelloggs, the world's largest purchaser of refined sugars, refined flour and preservatives starts making noise that they are going to make their products "healthy", can Hostess be far behind?

No, you say? WAKE UP, PEOPLE! The folks who grew up eating granola and rolling in the mud at Woodstock in a purple haze catching an STD now control all the major junk food manufacturers. "Healthy" is the new PC buzzword in food and yes, if people will screw with Pop Tarts, they'll mess with Twinkies in a heart, heart attack......whatever. Yeah, we'll be seeing brussel sprout filled Twinkies, yogurt Twinkies, organic bok choi Twinkies, kobi beef Twinkies (now, THAT's not a bad idea... medium rare, please), where was I...oh yeah, and if they mess with the INSIDE, just think what they will do with the OUTSIDE of them. Oh the horror, the horror! Instead of sponge cake, stone ground wheat pita, oat bran waffles, seven grain sesame seed covered flat bread?

Yeah, I'm mad as hell and I'm not going to take it any more! I'll make my own Twinkies and I'll sell them on the internet to the faithful...
You think I won't?

I have a bake set, Hostess...mess with Twinkies and just watch me.


Philippa said...

Bwwwahahahahhahahahahahhahahahah! Snort! Gasp!! Wheeze!! Bwwwahahhahaa!

That is a fantastic gift!! Excellent!

There is always Tastykake's s-p. Have you ever had any of those? If not, lemme know. I'll mail you some. You taste those and you'll never look back or miss the Pop Tarts and Twinkies. Trust me. Come...see the light s-p. Feel the force.


s-p said...

Hmmmm...Tastykakes? They even SOUND artery clogging! YUM! :) I don't think I've seen them on the west coast. I'm glad there is someone out there who might keep the faith if Hostess sells out to the granola crowd.

Anonymous said...

Aaargh! They make such an "evil" thing? Now I'll have to get one and not only confess to secretly eating Twinkies - but to secretly baking them as well.

It's the junk food junkies equivalent of a meth lab!!!!

Mimi said...

Giggle! Tee hee. I'd never thought about baking twinkies (I guess I never really thought of them being real food that is cooked or anything).


McKenzie said...

nice stuff dad...nice stuff lol. yeah this whole thing reminds me about the so called "real" bread that mom wants us to eat. it crumbles and tastes NASTY! I like how your goin on with this you should start a Save the Twinkies Organization. have one of those comertials like on tv with the poor kids and their sad faces. you kno that might just work! lets do it!