Tuesday, April 05, 2011

Orthograph #126 - Homilists

16 comments:

Anonymous said...

And... boom goes the dynamite. Nice.

Ben Andrus said...

How many sermons have I sat through where something akin to this was at the tip of my tongue? Too many to count, sadly enough.

This is the first time I've commented on your blog, though I follow it regularly. Bravo, sir!

— Ben

nothinghypothetical.com said...

You could have also graphed against length just as well. Not to say that the ideal homily is only long enough for the priest to utter "Glory to Jesus Christ", but if someone has in their head, "I have a lot to say this morning," they probably actually don't.

Keith said...

+1 on the length vs substance. I grew up in the COC where sermons were 45 minutes long. Very little was ever said. We were also pretty careful about ever bringing the Holy Spirit into anything. Didn't want to be confused with the AGs.

Alexander The Mediocre said...

either this is actually Orthograph #127, or I'm seeing double... :)

+1.234 points on the length idea...some homilies might be trying to prove just how difficult it will be in hell...

The Poor Blogger said...

How would the chart change if it said "us" instead of "you"?

s-p said...

You guys must be clairvoyant elders... "Length" was coming up in another graph. :)

PB, "you" was a rhetorical "me" back when I used to preach, but "you homilists" or "us" works too since anyone who gets to inhabit a pulpit or solea is at least mildly deluded for a period of time in their preaching career. I actually heard a priest say before his sermon "Everything I say in my sermon is AS IMPORTANT as the gospel itself so you need to pay attention." Wowza.

Anonymous said...

PB: One thing I know about s-p. He doesn't claim to be inspired by the Holy Spirit.
He has on occasion, however, admitted to being deluded. :-)

-Wifie

Alexander The Mediocre said...

Steve:


*Orthograph #126 - Homilists
Simply Beautiful

*Orthograph #126 - Because I'm Special

*Beware of Wearing the "Elder Badge"


Am I still seeing double? Or has the numbering system suffered a crash? :)

s-p said...

AtheM, Dang. Maybe it should be 126-b since we're on a theme here. :) I'll just call the next one #128 and we can pretend.

nothinghypothetical.com said...

I have a tendency of speaking too much in an attempt to avoid misunderstanding.

So I say the same thing in different ways hoping that each iterations variations from the precise meaning will correct the mass in whole.

As if several different statements each one successively more confusing might lead the listener or reader to a better understanding of my obtuse point of consideration.

At least, it is my intent to succeed where other serious minded folks have failed to produce results in the minds and hearts of those who would bother to pay any attention to the endless stream of nonsensical prelest that pours fourth from our gobblers.

Becoming Orthodox has given me access to a fantastic new array of qualifications and prefabrications, lovely enhancements to my already dubious use of the English vocabulary which allow me to be obtuse in foreign languages like Russian or Greek and still end up saying absolutely nothing of use to anyone listening.

Just like anyone else who starts a speech with the phrase "let's unpack that."

You see what happens when you unpack (reread the above paragraphs if you didn't get it the first time).

John S. Bell said...

I developed a permanent suspicion of my brothers and sisters who could just feel the Holy Spirit leading them back in my charismatic coffee house days in the 70's. Smiling brother with a guitar and a microphone: "Here's a new song God gave me this week." Afterward I would smile back, nod my head and think "Well, I can see why He didn't want it anymore . . ."

David B said...

Ha! So this is why they had us keep student homilies to five minutes.

Steve said...

David, When you think about it, you can read the entire Sermon on the Mount in less than ten minutes. Most of the parables can be read in less than 3 minutes, if you read a bunch of them in a series, maybe five to seven. The longest Apostolic sermon in Acts can be read in under five easily. It's the same Holy Spirit then and now... Hm.

Jack said...

The most inspired homily I've ever heard left everyone, including the priest's wife thinking, "He must be talking about me."

One woman was so pricked by it she left the parish.

However, the priest actually had NOBODY in mind.

Alix said...

Once upon a time in another incarnation, in homiletics we were taught that if your couldn't say it in 17 minutes, you couldn't say it and then there was the old rule--tell them what you're going to say, say it and then tell 'em what you said. There was a liot of talk about the inspiration of the Holy Spirit, but one old African American preacher told us that he found the Holy Spirit was more inspirational if you had done your homework before you got up to preach!!