Thursday, March 03, 2011

Monkabee Magazine #6

clikonit to embiggen
Previous Monkabee Issues HERE HERE HERE HERE HERE

25 comments:

Anonymous said...

Maybe it's because of your recent post, but I read hummus as... humans.

Also, I just got a Pithless Yummy/Lent tee shirt for my birthday--

=D

Ashley Siferd said...

I died when I read, "Nofu-ling around"

Love it.

nothinghypothetical.com said...

I clicked, it embiggened. I like the angry flare of this one, best issue so far. Someone is going to have to explain to me why hummus is OK when Oil isn't. Or it is only when we get crazy on the weekend?

(Incidentally, you know how much peanut oil is in peanuts? I'm not sure we should be eating peanut butter, I'm going to have to call my spiritual father, I'm not sure my bishop will give me a straight answer since we're New Calendar.)

Anonymous said...

Definitely liquid bread!

Keith said...

Dear Monkabee Editor,
I am hurt that you would lead me to the lip of the pit of hell by encouraging me to eat your magazine that is made from wood glue! The most common wood glues are PVA or aliphatic resin and both contain petroleum byproducts. Petroleum of course is made from dead dinosaurs. Is this oversight? Trickery? Please make sure you are at Forgiveness Vespers so that you can enter into Lent with a clean conscience.

Keith

s-p said...

Keith, A-HA!!! YOU are THE MONKMAN! You actually read the labels past the 14th ingredients! I will see you at Forgiveness Vespers wearing my sun glasses.

Fr. Sean Lotz said...

I, too, read "humans," and I, too, just about died laughing at "Nofu-ling around." I am definitely going out today to buy a copy of this issue. It's one of my favorite magazines.

And on a more serious note, while looking at the embiggened version and all those carrots/parsnips, I overheard myself thinking, "You know, Lent could be really fun this year, kind of a challenge. I think I'll enjoy it."

Fr. Sean Lotz said...

"You actually read the labels past the 14th ingredients!" ???

I don't usually make it past the first five.

s-p said...

Fr. Sean, There are those who follow the "trinitarian rule" and don't read past the third ingredient. I won't pass judgment, but let's just say the word on the "Ortho-street" is you won't be needing sun glasses when meeting them. LOL!

Dana said...

ROTFL!

Dana

Ingemar said...

My Cheesefare week has been foiled by a severe fever. I ATE CHICKEN SOUP.

JLB said...

"BEER: Liquid Bread or Demon Spit?"

I'm going with liquid bread. ;)

Anastasia Theodoridis said...

Monkabee Magazine is my favorite of all the funny things you do. Please keep new issues coming!

David B said...

Can phoney baloney make you St. Sophrony.

Oh. My. Gosh.

You are friggin' brilliant. Or very, very bored. LOL

Anonymous said...

And vodka is just liquid potatoes, right???? Tomato juice is tomatoes--so a bloody mary is just fine lenten fare--add the lemon wedge and celery stick garnish and it is a meal.....

s-p said...

DavidB, I have to admit I made myself laugh with the "phoney baloney" line.

Anon, Vodka: liquid potatoes. Yesss...

practicinghuman said...

I'll have you know this issue is sending me straight to the confessional for laughing so hard it hurt.

Alexander The Mediocre said...

Next issue: Is going to the circus considered "spiritual" ?

Alexander The Mediocre said...

also in the next issue: Is hitting children considered 'pedagogic initiative'? (source:British channel 4)

Alexander The Mediocre said...

correction to my last post: The title of the article should be: "will anyone without a fistfull-long beard go to heaven" (see previous link for answer...)

Sophia in West Texas said...

@Alexander the Mediocre - All of us beardless Orthodox ladies certainly hope that facial hair is not a prerequisite for theosis!

Anonymous said...

Vodka = liquid potatoes

Ergo:

Beef = delivery mechanism for grass and corn.

QED

s-p said...

Anon: Indeed, I'm vegan once removed: I only eat things that eat vegetables.

Alexander The Mediocre said...

@sophia

Although I do have a beard, I am afraid it's not long enough...

...remember this article was for monkabee not nunabee... :-)

Alexander The Mediocre said...

I've got a REALLY good movie to recommend: Adam's Apples.

Although it is about a protestant pastor I really can't think of anything better for someone to understand the Orthodox "fool for Christ" idea. An Orthodox director should do a remake that will feature an Orthodox priest instead! The notion of "penance" given as ascesis and not as punishment is superb. If you can find it, don't miss it.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=B0bikF2KYjY

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0418455/

http://www.amazon.com/Adams-Apples-Paprika-Steen/dp/B000Y38OCY/ref=sr_1_2?s=dvd&ie=UTF8&qid=1302475086&sr=1-2