The Chopping Block

I pretty much stay out of “Church politics”. I find that focusing on and ranting about the “big picture” of anything is usually a distraction at best and a delusion that I’m actually influencing changing anything about it at worst. That doesn’t mean I don’t think that some of the antics at “the top” aren’t scandalous, sheer idiocy and even evil. I don’t surf the net looking for crap, but when ortho-sh-t hits the fan, some of it gets on some of the places I go. And I admit, instead of clicking on that little red “X” in the upper right of my screen, I read. And I’ve been reading about the current drama in the Antiochian Archdiocese and MP Philip’s alleged financial improprieties, his political demotion of his bishops, the attempted exile of the convert Bp. Mark to the Siberia of American Orthodoxy where errant priests and bishops are sent to do one’s ecclesial penance, and the removal of a convert priest for the stated reason he did not adhere to the Antiochian clerical dress code (which was intended at least partly to prevent zealous converts from monkabee exhibitionism under the guise of “Tradition”). Of course all of this has more backstory and Byzantine intrigue than an ecumenical council, but in the end it comes down to “what is ecclesial reality”. (Of course every archdiocese has its own brands of scandals, so I’m not flaming Antioch per se, they are just the scandal du jour in American Orthodoxy.)

I was introduced to ecclesial reality when I was 21 years old and attending a small private Bible college in Texas. The head of the Bible department taught several of the classes, he was an old timer and a survivor of congregational ministry. Every once in a while in the classes someone would raise their hand and say, "Dr. Smith (not his real name, he’s still alive) what do you really think about…" He would pause, slowly walk over and close the door, then walk back and sit on the front edge of his desk. He would look across the room as if he was our dad, and then say," Now boys…" And then he would give us the straight dope. 

We got a new college president one year and he began targeting the old-timers and people in positions that he wanted to fill with his friends. People were fired, retired or were offered positions in more menial positions over various trumped up charges, infractions, or there was no place for them in the new organizational chart (which was re-reorganized after they were gone) I lost my job and half tuition scholarship as editor of the school paper because I was editorially critical of his administration. (I was married and my wife was also attending the school fulltime, so it was no small loss. I had to work two part time jobs while taking 16-21 hours to pay for school.) Our professor and we all knew that he was one whose head was on the chopping block. One day in the Minor Prophets class it was perfectly legitimate to ask," Dr. Smith what do you do when you know something wrong is going on in the church?" He paused, walked over and closed the door, and stood behind his desk. He leaned forward and put his hands on his desk and looked up at us and said, "Boys, most of you are going to graduate with a degree in Bible and you're going to go out and get a job with the church and think you're going to change the world. But the world is in the church. There will always come a time when your elders will tell you “you will do this or you're fired”. And then you have to decide what your integrity is worth. If you have a wife and children they will have you by the balls and they'll know it. So my advice to you is before you go out and get a job with the church, you stay in school and get a practical degree or learn a trade. If you work for the church you HAVE to have a fuck you backup plan if you if you want to keep your integrity someday."

A few years later I sat in an elders meeting when we adopted our son and was denied a raise for something I don't even remember now. What I do remember are the words of Elder Jack. He said, “You don't have any choice. We all know that the only reason a man becomes a preacher is because he can't do anything else useful. You're lucky to even have a job here.” He was half right, I was lucky to have a job in 1981 in the middle of a big recession. But I did have a choice and I chose to not stop doing what I was doing and got fired. While I applied for jobs with two useless degrees, I worked for 10 bucks an hour sweeping floors, moving sheet rock and mowed yards. My wife did day care in our home. A few months later I ended up self-employed with my construction company.

So thirty years removed from my own situation, when I read about all the current issues I have mixed reactions. All the allegations about financial improprieties and ecclesial manipulation aside, a Bishop (or in my former case, my elder), regardless of how pious or impious he is, can do basically anything he wants to do with his priests even if it's unpopular. The bottom line is a priest is ordained, serves and is moved or removed at the whim of the Bishop. The Bishop does not have to give a reason to anyone for his pastoral decisions. Whether or not that is wise or expedient is another issue. And until that Bishop is moved or removed by a canonical process he can continue doing what he's doing even in the face of a riot. So faced with ecclesial reality, the question I have to ask myself is, “What am I willing to sacrifice to keep my job and ministry, and does the Bishop have me by the balls?“ 

Frankly, I don't know what to make of the virtual complete silence of clergy on the Internet. I can honestly see that there is some wisdom in riding out the storm, sitting down and shutting up and waiting for the Bishop to die which realistically may be any day now. And then when happy days are here again you're still a priest, you're still serving your parish, you haven't put your family through hell (or at least any more hell) and ultimately, isn't that the goal. Sacrificing all that you went through to perhaps become Orthodox and then to get ordained for one public grandstanding act of conscience against a temporary situation perhaps just isn't worth it. However, I have to say I find it ironic that most of us ended up Orthodox because of a costly act of conscience in regard to the ecclesial weirdnesses of our former churches. But, on the third hand, I also have to say that when I was faced with the same situation it was hard for me to voluntarily look at going back to cleaning restrooms at the mall and washing dishes and sweeping floors after all I went through to be in the clerical position I was in in the Protestant church. And if I was Orthodox it would be doubly hard to think about giving up the black dress, the gold cross, the vestments and the respectable greetings in the marketplace. But that's just me being brutally honest with myself, I'm passing judgment on no one else.

Looking back, the other thing I wrestled with after my elders meeting was the idea that I can't get myself fired because my congregation needs me, and if I'm gone what will happen to them. Even then I realized there was an element of pride in that. The Orthodox word for that is prelest. And to be honest, I struggle with this also because for most of my Orthodox life, I have been a member of churches that suffered under bad priests and it is no picnic. I fully admit reality is there are qualitative differences between priests, and bishops for that matter. And a legitimate question is, should a good priest set himself up to be axed by a “bad bishop”, especially one that is possibly on his way out soon. And I see the wisdom of self-preservation in that situation. However, that said I look at St. Athanasius who was exiled six times and St. John Chrysostom who died in his seventh exile and I wonder how many times they struggled thinking, "Maybe it would be better for me to sit down and shut up because my church needs me and if I'm gone they will be left in the hands of evil men". But, what it comes down to is, in the Orthodox Church we are not Donatists, a parish doesn’t “need” a “good priest”. Anyone at the altar regardless of how good or bad a priest he is, can give us communion. A collar is not required for us to seek spiritual advice and wisdom from a man who is wise with or without a collar. Anyone can give us the sacrament of absolution and confession even if they don't understand a word of English. In reality God can raise up priests from stones if He needs someone at an altar. True ministry and priesthood is a function of all believers, and a robe or collar is a blessing, not a necessity. Personally, I eventually realized that when I thought of that as a necessity was when I ceased living in the present moment, I lost my faith in God’s providence, and I lost the authority and power to be a prophet to my people. 

So all that to say, being a Christian isn't easy. It never has been and sometimes it is the church that makes it hard. And sometimes when we hang being a Christian on having and keeping a function or a role in the Church, we make it harder than it really is. May God have mercy on us all.

(An addendum: Some FB comments have connected a couple dots that I think are worth mentioning.  Mp. Philip has forbidden clergy organizations to be formed or to meet.  Basically he has reinforced and is using to his advantage what I think is the intrinsic error of the American "congregationalist" mindset that has infiltrated the American Orthodox Church: if he can through fear of losing their congregational existence keep the clergy and laity from standing up with one voice as a diocese to him and the Patriarch, he wins. As long as the clergy see their ministry congregationally and are watching out for themselves and their parish, they have by default divided and conquered themselves and Mp. Philip's directive is moot.  Just a thought...)