Friday, January 23, 2009

Who Do You See?

"When did we see you hungry and feed you, or thirsty and give you drink? When did we see you a stranger and invite you in, or naked and clothe you? And when did we see you sick or in prison and come to you?" (Matt. 25:37)



The reality is we see Christ every day. The omnipotent, self-existent, eternal Creator of all took on our human flesh with all of its fallen limitations and needs. God entered the death imprisoned world as a hungry, thirsty, naked, homeless infant. Like all of us He needed food, drink, clothing and shelter even as an adult, even as God.

The homeless are an icon of the fallen nature of our true humanity and the dependence we have on others for even our basic human needs. The homeless in reality are a mirror for our own wandering, our own hunger and thirst for something beyond ourselves, our own prisons, our own shame and nakedness that makes us hide behind our masks and avoid love and communion. We avoid eye contact with the person holding the sign because his face is our mirror, if we look into it we might be convicted of who we really are: lonely, afraid, beaten, compassionless, merciless, unforgiving, judgmental, angry, respecter of persons, proud, stingy and ungrateful.

But the homeless person IS the sign. He is the sign of the Kingdom come upon you and he will be with us always because we always need to be pointed toward the Kingdom. Will you turn away. Will you obey the sign and walk the path toward it?

(Thanks to Allan Boyd for the image from his blog on ministry to the marginalized and hopeless: The Living End please check it out.)

Wednesday, January 21, 2009

There is no God?

This is a video about finding out what an anthill looks like beneath the surface. The structure is astounding, but the line in the video that is more astounding is almost an aside: The complexity of the structure looks like it was designed by an architect, a single mind, but it is the product of the "collective mind" of the ant colony. I don't know if that was meant to be more amazing or less than a "single mind". Either way, the implication is being able to design something so complex is just an "instinct" that has somehow evolved and is somehow communicated among billions of insects across what is relative to their size, miles of distance between them, with brains the size of 6 point font "period" that die quickly and are replaced... It seems to beg the question: What did the first and only ant that evolved do and did it come with all of this "instinct" built in somehow...if not, how did it survive until the specie "ant" evolved further and got its "ant act" down? Beats me, but I'm sure someone has it figured out.

One person sees random chemicals and another sees God. Go figure. Enjoy.

Thursday, January 15, 2009

And When You Have Turned...

I just returned from doing a Bible study at a homeless shelter/rehab facility for men. One of the men asked last week about the passage in Luke 22:38 where the disciples say, "We have two swords" and Jesus replies, "It is enough." Why did Jesus say two swords is enough? This is the synopsis of the talk and discussion (without the schizophrenic guy's comments....)

We looked at the passage in its greater context. It is the Last Supper. The disciple's response to Jesus' statement that one of them will betray Him is to argue about who is the greatest among themselves. Jesus, having washed their feet and served them the Supper says, "The greatest is the servant of all, as I have been to you" and tells of His Passion. Peter says he will go to prison and even die for Him. Jesus tells Peter, "Satan has asked to thresh you like wheat, and you will deny me, but when you have turned, strengthen your brothers."

This is us. Jesus humbly serves, we don't notice it and instead of comparing ourselves to Him we compare ourselves to our brethren and think we're greater than the next guy because WE'D never do what HE did. Jesus tells us we'll betray Him in a heartbeat (like Peter) or even after long deliberation (like Judas), and we are grandiose and "think more highly of ourselves than we ought" (Rom. 12:6). Jesus invites us to His passion and we believe we'll actually participate, even to the death. But when the spiritual life looks a little painful or demands a commitment, we cut and run.... long before death or even discomfort. Satan demands a shot at us all and God will permit it for our sakes and our brethren...no humbling spiritual growth is for ourselves, it is always for making us a servant.

A couple days ago I worked at a bazillion dollar house and one of the artifacts they had was an antique wheat thresher that looks like this. It is a large board with hundreds of flint blades embedded in it that is dragged over the top of the wheat to separate the chaff from the wheat grains.


This is what Jesus was telling Peter: You will be threshed. It will hurt. A lot. It is the only way to break through the outer husk and expose the grain that will become bread for the hungry. When your chaff is removed, through your repentance you will be able to minister to your brethren. It is a spiritual warfare, take up a sword. Peter says, we have two. He doesn't get it yet.

Two swords among eleven apostles. Jesus knows there is a garrison of Roman soldiers coming with Judas to take Him away. Two swords are enough? For what?

Two swords are enough to teach the disciples what they needed to know. None of them were as great as they thought and argued about. Peter, the one who would die with Christ, had one of the swords, and he bravely cuts off the ear of a servant boy, not a Roman soldier, and he runs away... he didn't go to prison, he didn't die. The other sword? It probably never got drawn. Peter then denies his Friend. Two swords were enough to make the point Jesus needed to make: You are weak, you are deluded, you don't get it. My kingdom is not of this world, it does not come by power, nor by might, but by My Spirit as Zachariah said.

The men in recovery (as do we all) have two swords always at their disposal. We think of them as our "formidable weapons". God knows we have a false self assessment and are overconfident in our defenses. The men in recovery (as we all are) are normally in a state of delusion. " We would NEVER...... We will ALWAYS be..........We are the greatest", even if we say we are the least. We go to the Garden with Christ with all of our delusions of greatness and martyrdom for His sake, that we will never betray Him. We have two swords. And we take a stab at the least difficult opponent then chicken out.

The two swords are I'm spiritually strong enough.... "I can drink one beer at the party", "I can have one phone call with that old girlfriend", "I can go back to the old neighborhood and hang with the homies for one hour", "I can watch the game at the old bar and just have an iced tea"...or any number of "normal sins". We have a sword, yes, but in the end it is inadequate to defend against the forces of the enemy. But it is enough to humble us, to show us our true self, to bring us to Christ and cast ourselves at His feet seeking forgiveness. And we learn it is not by our power, nor by our might, but by God's Spirit that we enter the Kingdom.

And this is our threshing, the removal of our delusions. It can happen no other way. God can tell us the truth abut who we really are, but most of us have to experience the truth. The removal of chaff is hard. It is painful. It is brutal. But only through the process is wheat revealed and bread can be made.

And when we turn from our self delusion and pride and boasting and turn and humble ourselves before God and lay aside our "swords" and take up the Cross, we can then strengthen the brethren.

It is humbling to be in the presence of 20 men who are being threshed, who are facing their denial and failure, who stink of the pig pen but are on the road home to the Father. May they find His embrace, His robe, His ring, His Fatted Calf and their place in His house once again.








Wednesday, January 14, 2009

Steve The Builder Begins


My first solo podcast is now available at Ancient Faith Radio

Avid followers of my blog will recognize some of the themes and subjects of several of the initial podcasts, but they've been expanded, sanitized and fleshed out for general consumption.

Bill and I will continue doing Our Life in Christ as we can hammer out time out of our mutual kid/life/work/church schedules, but this is a bit of a hobby for in between.

Monday, January 12, 2009

Newly Illumined

Yesterday the family of people at St. John the Evangelist OCA Mission welcomed five new people into its midst. Welcome Alexis, Veronica, Mary, Photini and Irene!


Wednesday, January 07, 2009

Chuck Norris Facts

OK, I admit it.... I LOVE these!

When the boogey man goes to sleep at night, he checks under his bed for Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris doesn't read books, he stares them down until they give him the information he wants.

Chuck Norris has counted to infinity.... twice.

Chuck Norris also knows the last digit of PI.

Chuck Norris can lead a horse to water... AND make it drink.

Chuck Norris doesn't wear a watch, HE decides what time it is.

Only Chuck Norris can slam a revolving door.

Chuck Norris can cook Minute Rice in ten seconds.

Chuck Norris doesn't get frostbite. Chuck Norris bites frost.

When Chuck Norris falls in water, Chuck Norris doesn't get wet, water gets Chuck Norris.

Superman wears Chuck Norris pajamas.

Chuck Norris CAN believe its not butter.

Chuck Norris can divide by zero.

When Walker Texas Ranger aired in France they surrendered to him just to be on the safe side.

Nobody doesn't like Sara Lee. Except Chuck Norris.

It takes Chuck Norris 20 minutes to watch 60 Minutes.

There is no CTRL key on Chuck Norris' computer. Chuck Norris is always in control.

Chuck Norris CAN judge a book by its cover.

There are no weapons of mass destruction in Iraq. Chuck Norris lives in Oklahoma.

If you don't at first succeed, you're not Chuck Norris.

I've added this for the benefit of those who have lived in the darkness of a Chuckless existence. Prepare for illumination.

Monday, December 29, 2008

The Orthodox Answer-man

(This is a revision and expansion of a real, slightly tongue in cheek email posted on an Orthodox discussion list...)

Dear Subdeacon S-P,
There are so many Orthodox people on the internet with agendas these days, I think I need one too! What are my options? Help me find a good one because I'll just end up picking something lame and uninteresting.
Sincerely,
Through the prayers of Ven. Melania of Rome, Ven. Chiriacos of Bisericani, New Heiromartyrs Thaddeus Upensky, Archbishop of Tver, Archbishop Velekii Ustiug, commemorated this day, and Barsanuphius, patron saint of me the greatest of sinners and bowing before you in all humility (but not kissing your right hand because you don't have the grace of the priesthood),
xxxxx

Dear xxxx,
Welcome to "Orthodoxy on the Internet"! You obviously have experienced the illumination of internet spirituality and have realized you need help in attaining blogotheosis. However, be forewarned if you are new to this: the only ultimate recognition for your efforts will be to be canonized as a martyr on the www Ortho-sphere. So if you are prepared to lay down your life for an agenda, there are several things you need to consider when picking an Orthodox agenda to give your life to.

F'rinstance, if you are constitutionally lazy you don't want to pick one that requires a lot of research, learning a dead language so no one can argue with you about your translations, or learning even a new language so you can read rare documents about your area of expertise. Also you wouldn't want to enter an area where you have no innate talents, like chanting, if you can't sight read and sing photocopies of 12th century Byzantine notation in dim candle light already. You also need to consider how much spare time you have to go through 1.4 billion google search results to know enough to sound authoritative for at least a few email rounds of arguing with someone who inevitably will have an opposing agenda before you bail out of a discussion in a huff. I would recommend that you have enough esoteric knowledge buried at LEAST past the 40 million search results so no normal Ortho-net person can challenge you readily.

But, the reality is, most newbies to agendas get passionate and excited and start tossing their newfound knowledge into discussion lists before they are well prepared. If you find yourself being Patristics-Tazed by some Ortho-geek out there who takes you on, here is what I teach the "catechumens to Ortho-agendas" as the proper way to extricate yourself from the discussion. You say something like: "This passionate discussion is not good for my soul...The Fathers were obviously illumined by "xxxxx" which I am trying to present to you. I should be praying instead of trying to PROVE my point to the uninitiated who are in bondage to the western phronema and need rational intellectual proof that I am correct. " Then lay low for a few days and post safe stuff like from the Philokalia or put up Youtube links to hidden camera videos of services on Mt. Athos and add smiley face emoticons to as much stuff as you can. This will disarm people and make them less suspicious of you later.

You might also consider that some agendas will make you look smart, some will make you seem pious, but some will just make you look goofy. It is difficult to find one that makes you look smart AND pious without knowing a dead language that only monks used. Piety and goofy are often confused, but as long as you stick with any pious praxis, dress, customs or liturgical prayer forms from an "old country" that is at least pre-1700 you are pretty safe. It is even better if the group you are imitating was oppressed by some "Orthodox emporer" or Patriarch.

A good way to beta- test an agenda is talk passionately about it with a couple visitors and one member of your parish council at coffee hour and watch for their reactions. If the priest comes and talks to you about it, you know you might be on to something. But, you want to google your agenda and see who else is on the bandwagon. If all the websites are in foreign languages, you have a good instant niche among English only converts. If all the websites/blogs/lists are in English, check out the profiles of the owners. If they are former/current members of the Society for Creative Anachronism (SCA), Star Trek Fan Club, or have a picture of Yoda, Sir Gallahad, Batman, or the Sith Warrior as their avatar, you might not want to take up the cause.

Anyway, just some suggestions. Good luck finding an agenda!

Sincerely,

The O A-m

Friday, December 26, 2008

Speaking of Jesus...

These videos were made by a church to show people how non-Christians sometimes view Jesus because of the way Christianity is presented. The movie used for the over-dubbed voices is the perfect vehicle. My favorite line: "What in the name of me is going on here?"

Tuesday, December 23, 2008

Nativity Thought

I was listening to the Gospel reading this past Sunday, the geneology of Jesus according to Matthew. This week we had all of our kids (and our new grandson) together all at once for Christmas for the first time in ten years. At 56 years and being far enough along to say I can look back on life, the geneology of Jesus took on some human significance for me. In years past in a way they were names, discreet points of reference like dots on history. On Sunday they were people. They had lives, futures, pasts, wives, kids and mundane things like jobs, sins, hopes and dashed dreams. And yet in the mundaneness of life and obliviousness to the working of the providence of God in a picture so big it would not be believed if God Himself told them, their faithfulness, and lack of faithfulness in many cases, brought forth the salvation of the world.

In the hands of God, nothing in our life is therefore insignificant, even to 42 generations hence.

Wednesday, December 10, 2008

In the Grand Scheme of Things

It seems like a catastrophe...but its really just an inconvenience.

My desktop computer stopped computing last night while I slept. I got up and went to check my email....No blue screen, no lights, just the fan running. The computer repair guy pronounced the motherboard dead. He told me I can retrieve my documents and files...5 years worth of digital pictures, 7 gigs of research and documents, 125 Our Life in Christ radio programs and 10 finished podcasts for a new program I'm doing for Ancient Faith Radio to be announced soon. So, yay for that. (I do have some backups...I learned SOMETHING from my last crash.)

New computer is being built (actually I have them built because for the most part the ones from the store have way too much stuff I don't use/need, and I get what I need for about 250.00). I just don't look forward to spending my Saturday reloading all my software and re-setting up all my accounts etc. And I have to figure out how retrieve my email address book. I never figured out how to back that up. sigh.

Until then, I have to work from my laptop. I hate the keyboard and its slower than the Cherubic hymn. Waah. Poor me.

Tuesday, December 02, 2008

Just Plain Cool

I used to be able to juggle three balls. Now I only juggle seven liturgical books at the chanter's stand. But I can still appreciate this

Wednesday, November 26, 2008

The War Gets Personal

I received this in an email from a friend who was just deployed to Iraq for the second time.
I've known several people who have done tours there, but Felix's emails need to be syndicated.
So, I'm passing this on to my readers in hopes they will pass it on and perhaps he will find someone who is willing to give him a wider audience than the Ortho-blogosphere. Please keep him and his fellow soldiers in mind while you are giving Thanks tomorrow.

Tonight we would fly through Iraq's own sky. The birds of hydraulic oil and steel came in one by one and set down for the real work had yet begun. Our bags were packed hours ago spent the night with us waiting on the airfield below. With our bags were finally loaded, we could muster aboard. These flying buses would transport us to world unknown and very far from home.
We eventually shuffled on board and situated ourselves like sardines in a can. The only difference is sardines weren't often packed with large bags on their lap. The night was bright and the stars above were our only hope of visible light. The air had a bite but I liken it to a baby with no teeth so no damage was done.
With the engines whining and rotors turning for flight, we took off climbing into atmosphere enclosed in darkness and lacking of life. My nerves have always found comfort in this type of flight, which was quick and stealthy because of pilots, like my brother Russ, and the crew members, like my cousin Paul, that make our nation's aviation truly second to none the world has ever known, not now or ever.
As I looked out back of this helicopter in flight in the void that we call night, I saw many things that gave me pause or one my say, insight. The crews feet did dangle from the back of the craft in flight like fingers running the blackest of hair, which you and I know of as the night. I looked in on the trees below. I watched the trees as they slept and stood their ground with centurions of streets lamps staggered all around.
We flew past a pond that looked like God spilled milk on the ground below but sought not to clean it up because it look cool on the ground. It was a night with no moon so there was limited light to assist one to see.
I remarked to myself and I looked ahead and below. I know what the edges of the look like, simply barren and alone. I see a village with life and lights and then I see nothing all in the same fight.
As the miles passed by, I saw a fire raging below. Her dance was long and slow. The show she put on was cast in a memorizing glow but I could not watch long because I was moving very fast and had far to go, eventually I lost sight of her and her translucent glow.
As I've had the privilege to do many times before, I looked Orion in the face and he remember me by name. We exchange looks like someone bumbing into an old friend, who knew you from a different time and place. We nodded our heads and kept to our own direction and pace with the knowledge we see each other because we've yet to finish this life's race.
At night all the worlds seems the same, we all seem to have desires very similar or same. A place to lay our head and those we love in safety. To dream with our belly's full and our hearts content. Most wanting nothing more than a house and place to pass hours of the night in slumbering delight with those we love and to whom we say, "Goodnight."
We eventually landed and I said my goodbye's to Orion, the birds, and the night ever expanding sky. It was at last time for a little work and then off to bed.
Now many of you begin your Thanksgiving day anew, with family and fully belly, packed and tight. I have some food for thought that I want to give to you. It's taken me a week to cook up for you.
Remember, my home is America where I sleep with little fear and much rest. Here I've learned, again, to fall asleep with the sounds of machine gunfire echoing in the distance. I have much to say when I lay my head on my pillow, pray, and say, "Amen."
Thankful I am for the land and people I call home and return I must. My platform is raised because I stand on the shoulders of danger only to see what America is and truly can be. My thoughts are with you as you get together and feast. I encourage you all to love more and be all that God wants you to be.
It's funny but I don't think a life worth living is the one of ease but the one where sacrifices are made. The closer you are to death the more beauty you find in life. A life where mistakes are made and lessons learned. How learning to go without gives value to what you have now or will have. How learning that what we want is not as important as what we seek to give. Well, that's all I have for now. Take care and thanks for what you do.
In Him,
Felix
P.S. Have another plate on Thanksgiving for me....go ahead eat that extra cake or pie! I would have....

Friday, November 21, 2008

Everything's Amazing, and No One is Happy

I was following a Sparklett's Water truck on the freeway yesterday. The poster on the back side said "The taste you deserve without the calories!"

Ummmm.... "The taste you deserve"? Who DESERVES taste??? And why?

The sense of of entitlement is one of the latest narcissistic characteristics of an unabashedly self absorbed culture that advertisers are tapping in to. TV, radio and print ads tell you that you deserve a break, pampering, peace of mind, pleasure in unlimited and boundless quantities, to have bill collectors leave you alone, and yes, even water that has flavor and won't make you fat.

Why do you deserve all that? Simple. Just because you exist.

But not really. You don't deserve it, you feel entitled to it. Advertisers are merely schmoozing your self absorption to separate you from your money (I know that's news to many of you... sorry to burst your bubble). But if you're oblivious and narcissistic enough to believe what they are telling you, you deserve to be screwed and they deserve to get your money. The problem is, as much as we have we believe it is normative and whatever more is added quickly becomes what we are entitled to.

Entitlement is its own hell.

The guy in this video puts it all in perspective:
Everything is amazing and no one is happy.

Thursday, November 13, 2008

My Wife is Bored

She says it is time for a new post.

Its hard to blog when nothing slaps you in the face like a cold, wet trout of absurdity. I don't really care about politics (What WILL you do if Obama is elected??? ummmm...be a Christian?).

Here's some good curmudgeon quotes about politics that I enjoyed:

"Politcs, noun: Strife of interests masquerading as a contest of principles." Ambrose Bierce

"Being in politics is like being a football coach: you have to be smart enough to understand the game and dumb enough to think it is important." Eugene McCarthy

"Politics is the art of looking for trouble, finding it whether it exists or not, diagnosing it incorrectly and applying the wrong remedy." Ernest Benn

and my favorite: "Some trust in horses and some in chariots, but we will call on the name of the Lord." some king in the Bible.

The economy is a little more interesting, but I've been self employed through 3 recessions now and have gained weight through all of them. Work has slacked off lately, actually. Christmas might be a little sparse this year, but I still have my internet connection and the light comes on in the refrigerator that has a Sam Adams Cream Stout calling my name. Jesus said "Seek first the kingdom and all these things will be added to you..." Some people I know think that means we kick back and hope money drops out of the sky while I read the Bible, but if we look at the birds of the air, they fly around from dawn to dusk looking for all that food that "God provides" laying all over the ground. If they're hungry enough they'll eat garbage in a Circle K parking lot. I've been hungry enough to mow lawns, dig ditches, build storage shelving in a 150 degree attic for a week, shovel ...well, anyway, if it paid money, I've done it. Pride goes before a fall, but I've learned that lack of pride goes before a meal.

The reality is, if the economy tanks and I lose my house, cars and God forbid, my internet connection and have to move into a trailer park and brush up on "Quieres papas fritas con eso?... Para ir o aqui?" yeah, I could do it and be happy....maybe happier.

Anyway, its late. Nothing earthshattering here, or very interesting. But it is NEW. Much like our government.

Tuesday, October 21, 2008

I Think I'm Going to Join

I think they are nearly Orthodox...They have cataphatic and apophatic theology, negation, their own liturgical language, experiential relationship with the Deity, transformation of the human person, priesthood, and mysticism. All they are missing is the 8 Tones, Octoechoes, and the 8th Day, but they aren't far from that and apparently very open to the concept .


Say Hebbo! from Torvakian on Vimeo.

Thursday, October 09, 2008

Out of the Basement

About six years ago we moved my Father in law in with us when he was dying of progressive supraneural palsy. He was not able to walk up and down steps so we moved into the basement of our house and let him have our master bedroom/bathroom area for his "apartment". His bathroom was right above our bed. We slept in sewage more than once, and had to pull up the carpet in our room. We never replaced it and we just covered our bed with plastic because of the potential for future floods. Gil passed away and I told my wife I'd remodel the master bedroom for her before we moved back in. Unfortunately in the past three years I've taken some big hits financially and money for carpet, a new mattress and bed, moving the closet door, and not to mention the TIME to do it all just wasn't there. But a few months ago I happened on an estate sale and got a magnificent "California-king" 4 poster bed frame and night stands for 400.00. A few weeks ago we found a virtually brand new 1,200.00 mattress on Craig's list for 200.00. I had a job last week at a house where they pulled up nearly new and VERY nice carpet and they gave it to me. And I got paid, AND I had 3 days off. So, I retextured, painted, moved the closet door and rewired the lights, put in 5 inch Victorian baseboard, Bill (my radio buddy) laid the carpet for us, I bought curtains, a new light, bedding, lamps and we moved upstairs Sunday night.

My wife is a saint for living in a ten by twelve brick bare walled room with a concrete floor for so long. Baby, this bed's for you.

Tuesday, October 07, 2008

Shameless Self Promotion

I recently did an interview with Kevin Allen of "The Illumined Heart" podcast on Ancient Faith Radio. The topic was "lay ministry in the Orthodox Church". From age six as a Roman Catholic, I always believed I would be a priest. Fifty one years later, it hasn't happened either in the Catholic Church, the Episcopal Church (I left before they "discerned me") or the Orthodox Church (I came THIS close...). I did a three year stint as a protestant minister almost 30 years ago, but got fired. So after nearly 40 years as a "lay minister" in various contexts, I figured heck, why not do the interview. Kevin asked some good questions. Its HERE.

Monday, September 22, 2008

OK - Twist My Arm

As long as we're on the subject of goofy worship...

THIS is the "Big Puppet Mass" I believe JTKlopcic was referring to. Personally, I think I prefer "The Way's Lawrence Welk Get Down Boogie Moonwalkers" to the old New Age ballet dancers in this one.

THIS is the "Clown Communion" that someone (actually a lot of people, apparently, by the number of them around the altar) thought was a cool idea. At least they were really clowning around and not just coming off as clowns.

Caveat: It would be unfair to lay any of these weirdnesses at the feet of their respective denominations and presume or even imply that these are sanctioned or approved of by everyone in them. It is however, an indication of the spirit of the age that is woven into the fabric of American western Christianity. "Sacred" is in the eye of the beholder, "edifying" is what appeals to the ego and passions, "relevant" is pandering to agendas and postmodern aesthetics, and "Christian" means nothing except what each person sitting in the pew wants it to mean.

Lord have mercy.

Saturday, September 20, 2008

Contemporary Worship

There...just...aren't...words......
Sorry, folks. I had to delete the link because The Way, International must have gotten wind of the traffic to the video and have redirected the link to their home page. I will try to find the original link and repost it in the future. Sly, they are....