Posts
Since not everyone on earth goes to Grace's blog, I have to put this on mine....
Tom Cruise's new wife, contrary to Scientology's spiritual disciplines, will get to make noise during childbirth, thanks to his magnanimousity.
Personally, I think someone should take a copy of "Dianetics" and push it through Tom Cruise's penis and see if he can keep quiet. Sheesh....
Tuesday, April 18, 2006
Monday, April 17, 2006
What's a Nice...
What's a nice turtle like you doing in a place like this? I went out to feed my fish this morning and found our turtle (which shows up about twice a year) shmoozing the plaster turtle next to our pond. Must be mating season. Just goes to show that even turtles are like human beings who are "on the make": Bad breath is better than no breath at all...
Tuesday, April 11, 2006
A Best Friend Dies
Ray Ray was nearly 15 we suspect. We got her from the pound, my wife instantly connected with her because my wife instantly connects with things and people that have been abused and neglected. She eventually became comfortable and wouldn't cower and pee when someone made a sudden move or raised a voice or told her to get off the couch. Her guilty concience never went away, however. We would come home and we could tell by the way she greeted us if she had eaten the bread off the counter, been in the trash or slept on the couch.
She was a beautiful dog and so gentle and intuitive, but also very protective and even aggressive if someone threatened a family member. She once fought off a neighbor dog that attacked my father in law in our driveway while they were on a walk.
She was lying on the dining room floor in front of my daughter's room like she often was when I left for work. She wagged her tail, but didn't get up. She had arthritis, so we knew she wasn't going to be much longer able to walk, it was a matter of time before we'd have to put her to sleep. My wife called a couple hours later, she had something seriously wrong. I came home and .... well, my daughter says it better than I can on her blog.
I miss my dogs.
She was a beautiful dog and so gentle and intuitive, but also very protective and even aggressive if someone threatened a family member. She once fought off a neighbor dog that attacked my father in law in our driveway while they were on a walk.
She was lying on the dining room floor in front of my daughter's room like she often was when I left for work. She wagged her tail, but didn't get up. She had arthritis, so we knew she wasn't going to be much longer able to walk, it was a matter of time before we'd have to put her to sleep. My wife called a couple hours later, she had something seriously wrong. I came home and .... well, my daughter says it better than I can on her blog.
I miss my dogs.
Thursday, April 06, 2006
FOB
...that's Fall Out Boy to you who don't have a young teenager in your house. I took my daughter and her friend to her first "rock concert" last week. FOB, All American Rejects, Hawthorne Heights and First to Last. And yes, 25 year old band lead singers are still saying "mother-f---er" every other word, and junior high kids still think it is cool and shriek with glee. My daughter asked if it bothered me, because it didn't bother her because she hears that all day long in 7th grade. I told her it didn't bother me...if 25 year old men think its cool to talk like 7th graders, that's a personal problem,.... but it did bother me that 55 year old men like Ozzy Osborne think it is still cool (I took our Japanese exchange student to the Ozzfest a few years ago... it was his opportunity of a lifetime: $9.79 lawn seats or 125.00US to see him in Japan). Anyway, SOME ancient rock stars have aged gracefully.... and actually the kiddos put on a decent show. I told my daughter that the Hawthorne Heights guitarist needs to go back to Jack Black's School of Rock and learn some new poses. She said "NO KIDDING! He did the SAME POSE SOOOO many times!!!"
I just have to wonder what parents let their 12 year old daughters out of the house looking hotter than an East Van Buren hooker. Sad.
I just have to wonder what parents let their 12 year old daughters out of the house looking hotter than an East Van Buren hooker. Sad.
Tuesday, March 21, 2006
The Move
Lent is in full bloom. We had 9 services the first seven days of Lent and 4 a week since. We managed somehow to get my father in law to most of them...well, we really didn't have much choice, either he went or the Reader or Choir Director stayed home. Since we were really the only two people in the Mission that knew the Lenten services, music and rubrics that really wasn't much of an option. It became increasingly clear that her decision to let go of trying to care for him in our home was correct.
My wife and her brother had found a couple places to move their father into, but there were no vacancies. Hospice gave her a list of some other places to look and she found one with an opening. All the arrangements were made for the move. Two days before the move the State's "indigent health care" agency called and said they only pay for a semi-private room, the one we were moving him to was a private room and we'd need to supplement 1,000/month for the room. We cancelled the move and looked at another place run by the same company. Not quite as nice, but nice. A room with a complete jerk in the next bed, but a room. The staff was experienced and the "lead lady", a large black woman with a contagious good nature has been doing this as a ministry for 12 years. Gil will have some personal attitudinal challenges being ministered to by a Black and Phillipino staff.
We moved him Saturday. We picked him up for Church Sunday and my wife said, "They didn't put him to bed right last night...his feet and head weren't raised, they didn't hook him up to his oxygen or put his nitro patch on...." She went there that evening to teach them how to do it right. Needless to say, guilt is no small issue right now. But the sense of relief and the prospect of sleeping all night is no small issue either.
Saturday afternoon after dropping Gil at the Home, we went shopping. My wife said, "We can go anywhere and be home any time." We went to the Chinese market and bought lots of goofy fasting stuff, I bought a whole octopus for stir fry. I didn't buy the squid jerky, however. We looked at used cabinets to remodel the kitchen, we talked about remodeling our master bedroom that Gil has occupied for the last 3 years, before we move back into it. I sent pictures to an architect friend about knocking a wall or two out. No problem. I had bought my wife queen sized sheets and a comforter for her birthday earlier that week. They will go on our new bigger bed (because we're both getting bigger) in our new bedroom...with a new mattress that has not been soaked four times from Gil's bathroom floods. Welllll...that was until she went to the dentist today for her toothache. The proposed work is about 4,000.00, the down payment the price of either kitchen cabinets or the tile and bathroom remodel of our bedroom....or our new bedroom set.
It is official. I've been screwed by the last lawyer I worked for. It will take me a few months to recover from the setback. We can't refinance the house again to cover the loss like I did with the last one. Funny thing...after thinking about it, both these people were devout "spiritual" people. A friend of mine asked what do you do in a situation like that. I told him, I sat down with my accountant and did a cost analysis of my soul and decided it was worth more than 20,000.00. So I let it go. I've even managed to pray for them a few times between the bouts of resentment. I have one more crazy client on my books that I'm trying to get finished and paid from in the next week or so.
All in all... I have work. I can work. I come home, the lights are on. My computer runs, there's an octopus in the refrigerator and some bok choy and fish sauce. And even some liquid bread (beer in the Greek fasting tradition). And when I go to bed tonight I will not hear the hum of the baby monitor and the gagging and choking of a man whose life is now slipping inexorably away among strangers and people who are paid to change his diapers, feed him, and suction his phlegm. I don't know which is worse, the silence or.......
My wife and her brother had found a couple places to move their father into, but there were no vacancies. Hospice gave her a list of some other places to look and she found one with an opening. All the arrangements were made for the move. Two days before the move the State's "indigent health care" agency called and said they only pay for a semi-private room, the one we were moving him to was a private room and we'd need to supplement 1,000/month for the room. We cancelled the move and looked at another place run by the same company. Not quite as nice, but nice. A room with a complete jerk in the next bed, but a room. The staff was experienced and the "lead lady", a large black woman with a contagious good nature has been doing this as a ministry for 12 years. Gil will have some personal attitudinal challenges being ministered to by a Black and Phillipino staff.
We moved him Saturday. We picked him up for Church Sunday and my wife said, "They didn't put him to bed right last night...his feet and head weren't raised, they didn't hook him up to his oxygen or put his nitro patch on...." She went there that evening to teach them how to do it right. Needless to say, guilt is no small issue right now. But the sense of relief and the prospect of sleeping all night is no small issue either.
Saturday afternoon after dropping Gil at the Home, we went shopping. My wife said, "We can go anywhere and be home any time." We went to the Chinese market and bought lots of goofy fasting stuff, I bought a whole octopus for stir fry. I didn't buy the squid jerky, however. We looked at used cabinets to remodel the kitchen, we talked about remodeling our master bedroom that Gil has occupied for the last 3 years, before we move back into it. I sent pictures to an architect friend about knocking a wall or two out. No problem. I had bought my wife queen sized sheets and a comforter for her birthday earlier that week. They will go on our new bigger bed (because we're both getting bigger) in our new bedroom...with a new mattress that has not been soaked four times from Gil's bathroom floods. Welllll...that was until she went to the dentist today for her toothache. The proposed work is about 4,000.00, the down payment the price of either kitchen cabinets or the tile and bathroom remodel of our bedroom....or our new bedroom set.
It is official. I've been screwed by the last lawyer I worked for. It will take me a few months to recover from the setback. We can't refinance the house again to cover the loss like I did with the last one. Funny thing...after thinking about it, both these people were devout "spiritual" people. A friend of mine asked what do you do in a situation like that. I told him, I sat down with my accountant and did a cost analysis of my soul and decided it was worth more than 20,000.00. So I let it go. I've even managed to pray for them a few times between the bouts of resentment. I have one more crazy client on my books that I'm trying to get finished and paid from in the next week or so.
All in all... I have work. I can work. I come home, the lights are on. My computer runs, there's an octopus in the refrigerator and some bok choy and fish sauce. And even some liquid bread (beer in the Greek fasting tradition). And when I go to bed tonight I will not hear the hum of the baby monitor and the gagging and choking of a man whose life is now slipping inexorably away among strangers and people who are paid to change his diapers, feed him, and suction his phlegm. I don't know which is worse, the silence or.......
Sunday, February 19, 2006
Cleaning House
My wife decided it is time to give up trying to take care of her dad in our home. The fine line between him being an "inconvenience" and realistically not being equipped to provide 24/7 care for him with our limited family resources is a tough one to negotiate emotionally. She and her brother visited several private nursing care homes last week and put his name on waiting lists.
The roller coaster is now in motion. This decision has been the kick start for putting our household back in order. This weekend we started remodeling the basement that has become a catch all for everything from storage boxes, my father in law's coffin we built, old Christmas stuff, a bed for visitors, my guitar and amplifier collections, boxes and boxes of books, old computers and just plain crap. Its a nice finished basement family room with a fireplace that has become a dumping ground. We've been putting out fires for so long it has become a "lifestyle" and we've become immune to the sight of having a garage sale in our basement. I'm thinking of invoking the 6 month rule: if we haven't seen it, used it or missed it for 6 months it goes in the dumpster. That would be most of our possessions, I think. At least just about everything in the basement right now. Gotta go vacuum.
The roller coaster is now in motion. This decision has been the kick start for putting our household back in order. This weekend we started remodeling the basement that has become a catch all for everything from storage boxes, my father in law's coffin we built, old Christmas stuff, a bed for visitors, my guitar and amplifier collections, boxes and boxes of books, old computers and just plain crap. Its a nice finished basement family room with a fireplace that has become a dumping ground. We've been putting out fires for so long it has become a "lifestyle" and we've become immune to the sight of having a garage sale in our basement. I'm thinking of invoking the 6 month rule: if we haven't seen it, used it or missed it for 6 months it goes in the dumpster. That would be most of our possessions, I think. At least just about everything in the basement right now. Gotta go vacuum.
Sunday, February 05, 2006
Que Pasa, Homey?
This is "The Garden of the Gods" in So...this is the "Christmas Newsletter" update of the life of steve, I guess. There's so little time for blogging lately.
Let's see. My wife is finally burning out on taking care of her father. She has been a saint with him but he's getting harder to take care of. I think the vacation was a break but also a reality check about how he is consuming her. We both knew it was coming sooner or later, but she finally brought up permanent nursing home care for him. I can't really make that decision for her. Yeah, I'd love to get an uninterrupted night of sleep too and have my wife and all the rights and privileges thereto back. The reality is, because of my work and Church stuff I don't do much of the direct care of him except when she is gone, which is not often, so I'm not the one feeding him, changing his Depends, dressing him for Church, getting up in the middle of the night to give him his nitroglycerine and suction his phlegm. And he's not MY dad who took care of his wife and mother when they were dying...and she's pretty susceptible to "guilt". I think I'd probably err on the side of keeping him too long too if she asked me. But I tend to go the third fourth and fifth mile with things myself. We're not a good combo in that regard... no objectivity. I was in a position once of deciding whether or not to "pull the plug" on my brother. This is actually a harder decision because Gil will live on indefinitely and as dedicated and compassionate as the staff are, we've seen nursing home conditions. They aren't our house.
On other fronts, I just finished an article on "Homosexuality" for AGAIN an Orthodox magazine. It will come out in their Spring issue this Lent. I had some very brave souls who are Orthodox Christians who have "same sex attraction" who participated in a questionairre who assisted with the content of the article. Kudos to the staff of Conciliar Press for taking on this issue.
On the work front, I seem to be getting a rash of crazy clients. The latest is a woman who has changed every detail of her house at least a half dozen times. She is the master of catastrophizing life. She's also slightly infirm and plays it for all its worth with her daughter and anyone who will respond. If things don't go her way all of a sudden she has to sit down, rest, breath deeply and sigh a lot. She'd walk around with me and say "Can you do this? What do you think about that? Do you like this color?" etc. etc. Then I'd find out she thought I was telling her I'd actually DO all those things...of course for the same amount of money as the original contract...then she'd play me against her designer, who I work with. The designer finally quit and now the woman's LAWYER... yes ANOTHER LAWYER!!! is now running the job and his WIFE is now the designer. The woman was told she is not to speak to me directly any more on the job, all changes and ideas have to go through the lawyer and designer. We all met on the job after The Big Meeting and the woman looked like a whipped dog. She waddled after me into a room like a lost duckling and tugged on my shirt. "I can't talk to you any more...." she sniffed with a quiver in her voice and bassett hound eyes. She HAD to see "progress" so I painted the huge living room/family room/dining room and halls. I came in today and there were about 15 holes cut in the finished walls of the halls and living room where she decided she wanted a new light and outlet. Now she wants surround sound. The stereo people will be there next week to cut up the finished family room walls. The dining room is intact as of 3:00 today. Yeah, its all money, but I see the lawyer train a'comin again, and they never have money on them in my experience lately. sigh.....Other than that I have WAY too much work on my books and WAY too little time. I've been in the putting out fires mode for a long time. When EVERYONE is a squeaky wheel it gets old after a while. On the other hand, I thank God for the work because I still have not heard a word from the last lawyer I worked for who owes me almost 10,000.00.
AND my youngest daughter just turned 13 and the junior high drama gene flipped on. Fortunately I've been through this before so I know the end of the world won't come no matter what she says.
Wednesday, January 25, 2006
Where I've Been
for the last couple weeks....
Busy. Too busy. But we had Hospice offer us a respite care for my father in law and put him up in a nursing home for 6 days. I took my wife and kids to Santa Fe for a visit to Holy Trinity Orthodox Church's consecration and the elevation of Fr. John to "archpriest". Afterwards I kidnapped my wife and I took her to Colorado Springs instead of home. It took her 135 miles to realize we were going in the opposite direction of Albuquerque. We spent the next 4 days sightseeing and driving Colorado. Here is one panoramic vista thanks to Canon's "photostich". It is Trout Lake on top of the Rockies. A good time was had by all. Now back to reality....
Friday, January 06, 2006
The Next Best Thing
For background on this photo see my post on "Pop Tarts" in the archives to the left.They don't make a "Pop Tarts" baking set, so my oldest daughter and step son bought me my own Twinkie making operation. I'm set. Its Pop Tarts now, Twinkies are next. Believe me.
Yeah, its a slippery slope folks, and yes, it CAN happen here even in America, ESPECIALLY in America! When Kelloggs, the world's largest purchaser of refined sugars, refined flour and preservatives starts making noise that they are going to make their products "healthy", can Hostess be far behind?
No, you say? WAKE UP, PEOPLE! The folks who grew up eating granola and rolling in the mud at Woodstock in a purple haze catching an STD now control all the major junk food manufacturers. "Healthy" is the new PC buzzword in food and yes, if people will screw with Pop Tarts, they'll mess with Twinkies in a heart beat....er, heart attack......whatever. Yeah, we'll be seeing brussel sprout filled Twinkies, yogurt Twinkies, organic bok choi Twinkies, kobi beef Twinkies (now, THAT's not a bad idea... medium rare, please), where was I...oh yeah, and if they mess with the INSIDE, just think what they will do with the OUTSIDE of them. Oh the horror, the horror! Instead of sponge cake, stone ground wheat pita, oat bran waffles, seven grain sesame seed covered flat bread?
Yeah, I'm mad as hell and I'm not going to take it any more! I'll make my own Twinkies and I'll sell them on the internet to the faithful...
You think I won't?
I have a bake set, Hostess...mess with Twinkies and just watch me.
Wednesday, January 04, 2006
Its Finally Official
I am happily married. Actually, I've been happily married, but having lost 4 wedding rings in 13 years on construction sites, in buckets of mud and in the grass cleaning tools in client's garden hoses, my wife started getting suspicious. Well...one lasted quite a while and it was a 6 dollar silver band that had worn down to almost nothing and my hands have swollen so much from work I had to cut it off with some tin snips one day at work. But, I've been without a ring for almost a year now...but not any more. She bought me one for Christmas. Stainless steel with a gold band. And it fits...for now. So, yes sweetie, we are happily married. Always have been, always will. With or without a ring to prove it.
Thursday, December 22, 2005
I Guess the Answer is
No. My daughter asked me a couple weeks ago if we could get a tree before Christmas eve this year. It's December 22 and no tree in sight yet. I've been working 16 hour days to finish projects before Christmas and get some money to make up for another 10,000.00 hit I'm taking on a big remodel. Two in one year is REALLY hard to recover from. We already refinanced the house to take up the slack for the last one. Sigh.... 25 years in business and no major problems, I guess I'm getting them all on my silver anniversary.
Wednesday, December 14, 2005
Capital Punishment
Some random thoughts on the recent execution...
I spent most of my formative years and adult life as a pacifist. I registered as a concientious objector during the Vietnam War and was ready to head to Canada if my lottery number came up. I was anti war, anti self defense, anti death penalty. I can't really put a finger on when my views started shifting. The concrete shift happened when I took street fighting classes at a karate studio when I ran a residential treatment center for severely disturbed boys who had inclinations toward wanton mayhem. Being beaten with a baseball bat by a 180 pound "hyperactive" (as they were called back then) kid with no concience was not an option for running an effective treatment program. It might make good classroom arm chair philosophizing about non-violence, but broken teeth and bones and 12 other kids and my wife and child in the path of blind rage are not abstracts, they are real.
So...I know that does not illumine the question of restraint versus retribution and punishment. Life in prison restrains the evil doer. But then so does death. Which biblically and according to the Fathers of the Church, death IS indeed the ultimate constraint on evil. Death is actually the blessed curse, it cuts short the days of man so he cannot wax grossly evil. Death is also referred to in our readings for the Saints during the Vigil services as a blessing: God takes the righteous early so that they will be spared the evil days to come. So the question is not "death or no death" the question is "death by whose hands"? Capital punishment was exacted under the theocracy of Judaism. Yes it was a shadow of the Gospel. But the Theocracy of Judaism is fulfilled in the Church, not the State. No one who supports capital punishment believes the Church should execute its sinners and heretics or apostates. But the State is not the Church.
The Church exists for the redemption of the human being, an agent of the Gospel of forgiveness, the giver of the sacraments, the bearer of grace to the fallen race. What the Church cannot do is undo the temporal consequences of the actions of the human being. It may forgive the sin of embezzlement, but it does not forgive the debt or pay it for the embezzler.
It forgives adultery, but it does not pay the child support of the adulterer. It forgives the negligent homicide but it does not substitutionarily give one of its members to serve the prison sentence for the drunken driver who ran over the child on the sidewalk. While the Church can affirm life, repentance and forgiveness, it cannot legislate it. "The state does not bear the sword for naught", St. Paul says to the evildoer AND to good-doer. Do good and fear not the State and its sword he advises. Of course you've all heard this before. This is nothing new under the sun.
The tension is both theological and emotional. How does a finite human being perfectly join justice and mercy? Can we legitimately call on God, and God's ordained State authority to mete out justice to the evildoer, crush those who are enemies of life, peace and goodness? Is it wrong to cry to God to send SOMEONE to punish the men of a village in Afghanistan who are repeatedly raping 12 year old orphan girls...or whatever heinous crime sticks in YOUR head. Is fire and brimstone from heaven too good for them? What about fire and a bullet from an authorized agent of the State? Should they be given time to repent? Should we let them live to find God? What about the time they've already had? How have they used it? Opportunity for repentance abounds every minute of the day. Will a few more minutes make any difference? Perhaps knowing the minutes are about to end will be more motivating to repentance than the prospect of unlimited minutes in solitary confinement. I don't know.
Is the death penalty inhuman? No, it is ultimately human. Is it ungodly? No, God required it of His people. Is it effective? Depends on how you define effectiveness. Is it a restraint on those who might do evil? Maybe. Maybe not. Does it restrain the one who has done evil. You bet, once and for all. Can he be restrained by confinement? Maybe.
But, ultimately it may not be about restraint alone. It might be more about bringing the inhumanity of humanity left without God up front and personal to the evil doer and the ones who are executing him. If balancing the books of body counts is all its about then what are we about? If its about the violation of something greater than one materialistically determined biological unit doing something to make another biological unit to cease functioning, then we have whole 'nother thing going on here. Justice is about love. We kill the killer because we know more than mere biology has been violated. Love has been violated. No love, no life. The killer exhibits no love and kills someone who is loved by someone else. "Society"...what is society? ...an amalgam of beings that join together in a community mutually respecting and affirming life: love at a primeaval level, I suppose.... society condemns and kills the ones who refuse to submit to love. What if they've learned to love? All the better, then they are prepared to meet their Lover on good terms, and if that is the case, then they are better off than we who are left behind and have to continue the struggle to repent and prepare to meet our God.
Can someone be about grace, love and repentance and still believe in the death penalty. I think so. I am. I pray Tookie Williams or whatever his name was, repented and is forgiven. I even think "society" can forgive him and still take his life, because God would have sooner or later anyway whether he was ready or not... and perhaps this is merely the way God decides to do it by ordaining civil authority to carry the sword.
I spent most of my formative years and adult life as a pacifist. I registered as a concientious objector during the Vietnam War and was ready to head to Canada if my lottery number came up. I was anti war, anti self defense, anti death penalty. I can't really put a finger on when my views started shifting. The concrete shift happened when I took street fighting classes at a karate studio when I ran a residential treatment center for severely disturbed boys who had inclinations toward wanton mayhem. Being beaten with a baseball bat by a 180 pound "hyperactive" (as they were called back then) kid with no concience was not an option for running an effective treatment program. It might make good classroom arm chair philosophizing about non-violence, but broken teeth and bones and 12 other kids and my wife and child in the path of blind rage are not abstracts, they are real.
So...I know that does not illumine the question of restraint versus retribution and punishment. Life in prison restrains the evil doer. But then so does death. Which biblically and according to the Fathers of the Church, death IS indeed the ultimate constraint on evil. Death is actually the blessed curse, it cuts short the days of man so he cannot wax grossly evil. Death is also referred to in our readings for the Saints during the Vigil services as a blessing: God takes the righteous early so that they will be spared the evil days to come. So the question is not "death or no death" the question is "death by whose hands"? Capital punishment was exacted under the theocracy of Judaism. Yes it was a shadow of the Gospel. But the Theocracy of Judaism is fulfilled in the Church, not the State. No one who supports capital punishment believes the Church should execute its sinners and heretics or apostates. But the State is not the Church.
The Church exists for the redemption of the human being, an agent of the Gospel of forgiveness, the giver of the sacraments, the bearer of grace to the fallen race. What the Church cannot do is undo the temporal consequences of the actions of the human being. It may forgive the sin of embezzlement, but it does not forgive the debt or pay it for the embezzler.
It forgives adultery, but it does not pay the child support of the adulterer. It forgives the negligent homicide but it does not substitutionarily give one of its members to serve the prison sentence for the drunken driver who ran over the child on the sidewalk. While the Church can affirm life, repentance and forgiveness, it cannot legislate it. "The state does not bear the sword for naught", St. Paul says to the evildoer AND to good-doer. Do good and fear not the State and its sword he advises. Of course you've all heard this before. This is nothing new under the sun.
The tension is both theological and emotional. How does a finite human being perfectly join justice and mercy? Can we legitimately call on God, and God's ordained State authority to mete out justice to the evildoer, crush those who are enemies of life, peace and goodness? Is it wrong to cry to God to send SOMEONE to punish the men of a village in Afghanistan who are repeatedly raping 12 year old orphan girls...or whatever heinous crime sticks in YOUR head. Is fire and brimstone from heaven too good for them? What about fire and a bullet from an authorized agent of the State? Should they be given time to repent? Should we let them live to find God? What about the time they've already had? How have they used it? Opportunity for repentance abounds every minute of the day. Will a few more minutes make any difference? Perhaps knowing the minutes are about to end will be more motivating to repentance than the prospect of unlimited minutes in solitary confinement. I don't know.
Is the death penalty inhuman? No, it is ultimately human. Is it ungodly? No, God required it of His people. Is it effective? Depends on how you define effectiveness. Is it a restraint on those who might do evil? Maybe. Maybe not. Does it restrain the one who has done evil. You bet, once and for all. Can he be restrained by confinement? Maybe.
But, ultimately it may not be about restraint alone. It might be more about bringing the inhumanity of humanity left without God up front and personal to the evil doer and the ones who are executing him. If balancing the books of body counts is all its about then what are we about? If its about the violation of something greater than one materialistically determined biological unit doing something to make another biological unit to cease functioning, then we have whole 'nother thing going on here. Justice is about love. We kill the killer because we know more than mere biology has been violated. Love has been violated. No love, no life. The killer exhibits no love and kills someone who is loved by someone else. "Society"...what is society? ...an amalgam of beings that join together in a community mutually respecting and affirming life: love at a primeaval level, I suppose.... society condemns and kills the ones who refuse to submit to love. What if they've learned to love? All the better, then they are prepared to meet their Lover on good terms, and if that is the case, then they are better off than we who are left behind and have to continue the struggle to repent and prepare to meet our God.
Can someone be about grace, love and repentance and still believe in the death penalty. I think so. I am. I pray Tookie Williams or whatever his name was, repented and is forgiven. I even think "society" can forgive him and still take his life, because God would have sooner or later anyway whether he was ready or not... and perhaps this is merely the way God decides to do it by ordaining civil authority to carry the sword.
Saturday, December 10, 2005
Kellogg Promises Healthier Pop Tarts
WHAT TH....!!!!?????
Healthier POP TARTS???!!!!
What next? Non-Genetically Altered Strawberry Pop Tarts? No Additive Portobello Mushroom Pop Tarts? Tofu Pop Tarts? Free Range Chicken Pop Tarts?
What marketing idiot thought of "healthier Pop Tarts"?
LEAVE MY POP TARTS ALONE, DAMMIT! If I want a healthy breakfast I'll eat a Snickers with my Doctor Pepper, thank you.... What'll they think of next? Healthy Frosted Flakes? Healthy Cap'n Crunch? You would really consider taking people's childhoods away from them??
Look Kellogg: if I want to eat healthy, I'll buy Krispy Kremes, they have the corner on the market on healthy breakfast foods, OK. Natural flour, natural butter, natural sugar frosting, natural lard. But I don't buy Krispy Kremes, I buy Pop Tarts. Look, fools...If you change Pop Tarts, I'll buy Little Debbie Little Chocolate Donuts instead. I know for a fact that they're just as good as Pop Tarts because that bag of of them has been sitting on the shelf for 3 and a half months now and there's not a BIT of mold on them yet. If whatever preservatives and additives you guys put in your pastries can make Pop Tarts and little chocolate donuts virtually immortal, think what it can do for MY immune system... now THAT'S healthy.
I'm Orthodox folks... and I know when I die, if they ever exhume my body a hundred years from now it will be preserved incorrupt. There will be those who will give glory to God thinking that I was a saint, but I'll be giving glory to Kelloggs because we'll both know it was the Pop Tarts.
Healthier POP TARTS???!!!!
What next? Non-Genetically Altered Strawberry Pop Tarts? No Additive Portobello Mushroom Pop Tarts? Tofu Pop Tarts? Free Range Chicken Pop Tarts?
What marketing idiot thought of "healthier Pop Tarts"?
LEAVE MY POP TARTS ALONE, DAMMIT! If I want a healthy breakfast I'll eat a Snickers with my Doctor Pepper, thank you.... What'll they think of next? Healthy Frosted Flakes? Healthy Cap'n Crunch? You would really consider taking people's childhoods away from them??
Look Kellogg: if I want to eat healthy, I'll buy Krispy Kremes, they have the corner on the market on healthy breakfast foods, OK. Natural flour, natural butter, natural sugar frosting, natural lard. But I don't buy Krispy Kremes, I buy Pop Tarts. Look, fools...If you change Pop Tarts, I'll buy Little Debbie Little Chocolate Donuts instead. I know for a fact that they're just as good as Pop Tarts because that bag of of them has been sitting on the shelf for 3 and a half months now and there's not a BIT of mold on them yet. If whatever preservatives and additives you guys put in your pastries can make Pop Tarts and little chocolate donuts virtually immortal, think what it can do for MY immune system... now THAT'S healthy.
I'm Orthodox folks... and I know when I die, if they ever exhume my body a hundred years from now it will be preserved incorrupt. There will be those who will give glory to God thinking that I was a saint, but I'll be giving glory to Kelloggs because we'll both know it was the Pop Tarts.
Thursday, December 08, 2005
Sunday, December 04, 2005
I Despise Christmas Shopping
My daughter in college noted in my blog that I'll give 60 bucks to a homeless person but my kids don't get squat from me (all good naturedly, lest anyone think she's some kind of malcontent gen-Z or whatever the hell kids are these days....). Welll...they do get squat, but not much more than that. With 4 kids in college at once I basically told them "I put myself through 17 years of college working fulltime/part time and getting scholarships etc.... and if they are really motivated and put their nose to the grindstone they too someday can have 3 degrees and 130 hours of post graduate work and hold a construction job." So we basically supply them beer money. Well, its supposed to go for an occassional rent payment, brake job or books, but it all comes down to beer really, and Ouzo.
Anyway, that's not what this blog post is about. Its about how I really don't get into Christmas shopping. Despise is a bit harsh. I like the giving, I just don't like the shopping.
But that's not what this is about either. Actually, I had a great time Christmas shopping last year for the first time in my life.
We usually get our tree late in the season. My daughter asked today if we can get a tree like earlier than Christmas eve this year. Heck, they were free on the sidewalk last year on Christmas Eve! But that's not the point either, really, its kind of almost it. There are never any gifts under the tree from me until the last minute. My kids always ask "When are you going Christmas shopping, Dad?" I ALWAYS tell them, "That's why Circle K is open 24 hours on Christmas eve." Well, last year I shopped for all my gifts for everyone at Circle K. I stole gobs of napkins from Circle K dispensers (the ones with the red logo on them). I bought everything they had with a Circle K logo on it... coolers, coffee cups, mugs, lighters, matches.
I wrapped everything in Circle K napkins and masking tape and put it under the tree late Christmas Eve.
Inside the coolers were the shirts, books, icons, etc. The lighter went with the new lampada for my wife's altar, and inside the car-cupholder sized coffee cup were the keys to the car we bought for my daughter in college.
I don't know what I'm going to do this Christmas. I may have to see if AM-PM has a better gift selection.
Anyway, that's not what this blog post is about. Its about how I really don't get into Christmas shopping. Despise is a bit harsh. I like the giving, I just don't like the shopping.
But that's not what this is about either. Actually, I had a great time Christmas shopping last year for the first time in my life.
We usually get our tree late in the season. My daughter asked today if we can get a tree like earlier than Christmas eve this year. Heck, they were free on the sidewalk last year on Christmas Eve! But that's not the point either, really, its kind of almost it. There are never any gifts under the tree from me until the last minute. My kids always ask "When are you going Christmas shopping, Dad?" I ALWAYS tell them, "That's why Circle K is open 24 hours on Christmas eve." Well, last year I shopped for all my gifts for everyone at Circle K. I stole gobs of napkins from Circle K dispensers (the ones with the red logo on them). I bought everything they had with a Circle K logo on it... coolers, coffee cups, mugs, lighters, matches.
I wrapped everything in Circle K napkins and masking tape and put it under the tree late Christmas Eve.
Inside the coolers were the shirts, books, icons, etc. The lighter went with the new lampada for my wife's altar, and inside the car-cupholder sized coffee cup were the keys to the car we bought for my daughter in college.
I don't know what I'm going to do this Christmas. I may have to see if AM-PM has a better gift selection.
Sunday, November 27, 2005
Is there a beacon on my head
or what? SK hasn't called us all week. I don't know what that means, but I suspect it means she has found an easier "touch" after we set some limits on her going through the parish directory asking different people for money, or it means she's fallen off the wagon. I don't know which is really worse since both are symptoms of the same disease. Lord have mercy.
So. N. shows up at our Mission last night. She stopped in on her way home from work at the Mall.
She had called twice earlier in the week and the second time it was as if she had forgotten she'd called the first time. We gave her service times. She showed up at one of them. She asked us for prayers for two of her co-workers who got laid off earlier that week. She asked for prayers for her departed best friend who died in a tragic accident. She asked for 60 bucks for a motel room to hold her over until she got paid. In that order.
Bill says, you must have a neon sign on you somewhere. Yeah, perhaps God put it there because I need the testing. I taught the catechumen's class this morning on the Nativity fast and alms. Give to the undeserving poor, judge not, thank God, imitate Christ. What's sixty bucks to me? In the grand scheme, pocket change. I've dropped that on lunch.
What's it to God? Maybe its the warning light on my dashboard. If I don't give or can't give ungrudgingly, without judgment, gladly, without fear of condemnation, then the red warning light goes on. DANGER WILL ROBINSON!! I'll be the first to tell someone that money is the last thing on my mind as a goal in life. I make enough, more than enough to live on, and I am able to be generous to a lot of causes. But I pick most of them.
But I get picked a lot. Homeless people pick me out in crowded parking lots, in stores, on the street...they make a beeline straight for me past plenty of other people who look more like money than I do. "Hey man, I lost my job, my wife and kids are in the car hungry, I need a motel for the night, my car is out of gas and I'm on my way to...." I don't know why they pick me out. I dress like a slob, most of the time I'm in painter's pants and a t-shirt, so I don't look rich or like I have a lot of cash. But most of the time I have a couple hundred in my pocket just because.
So yeah, I think I do have a beacon on my head. Maybe God put it there, or maybe God let Satan put it there..."Hey Satan...Behold my servant Steve, he has a successful business, he serves the Church, he's generous to many ministries on My behalf..." "Ah, but is he REALLY generous? Does he give merely to You because You've blessed him? Let weirdos instead of nuns attack his wallet and he will curse You and Your undeserving paupers You claim to love so much...." "Make it so...."
I dunno. That's pretty egotistical. Of course, I'm an egoist, so sure I'd think I'm all that important. sigh....What do I know for sure? I know that God has blessed me far beyond what I deserve in this life, He has not rewarded me according to my iniquity nor recompensed me according to my sins. I am the undeserving pauper who approached God one morning after trashing my life and the lives of many around me and asked for a place to stay, a meal, a couple bucks to get home, and a kind word. I got them all. How can I but give what little God has given to me to someone who asks for no particular reason but that they have the balls to ask?
So. N. shows up at our Mission last night. She stopped in on her way home from work at the Mall.
She had called twice earlier in the week and the second time it was as if she had forgotten she'd called the first time. We gave her service times. She showed up at one of them. She asked us for prayers for two of her co-workers who got laid off earlier that week. She asked for prayers for her departed best friend who died in a tragic accident. She asked for 60 bucks for a motel room to hold her over until she got paid. In that order.
Bill says, you must have a neon sign on you somewhere. Yeah, perhaps God put it there because I need the testing. I taught the catechumen's class this morning on the Nativity fast and alms. Give to the undeserving poor, judge not, thank God, imitate Christ. What's sixty bucks to me? In the grand scheme, pocket change. I've dropped that on lunch.
What's it to God? Maybe its the warning light on my dashboard. If I don't give or can't give ungrudgingly, without judgment, gladly, without fear of condemnation, then the red warning light goes on. DANGER WILL ROBINSON!! I'll be the first to tell someone that money is the last thing on my mind as a goal in life. I make enough, more than enough to live on, and I am able to be generous to a lot of causes. But I pick most of them.
But I get picked a lot. Homeless people pick me out in crowded parking lots, in stores, on the street...they make a beeline straight for me past plenty of other people who look more like money than I do. "Hey man, I lost my job, my wife and kids are in the car hungry, I need a motel for the night, my car is out of gas and I'm on my way to...." I don't know why they pick me out. I dress like a slob, most of the time I'm in painter's pants and a t-shirt, so I don't look rich or like I have a lot of cash. But most of the time I have a couple hundred in my pocket just because.
So yeah, I think I do have a beacon on my head. Maybe God put it there, or maybe God let Satan put it there..."Hey Satan...Behold my servant Steve, he has a successful business, he serves the Church, he's generous to many ministries on My behalf..." "Ah, but is he REALLY generous? Does he give merely to You because You've blessed him? Let weirdos instead of nuns attack his wallet and he will curse You and Your undeserving paupers You claim to love so much...." "Make it so...."
I dunno. That's pretty egotistical. Of course, I'm an egoist, so sure I'd think I'm all that important. sigh....What do I know for sure? I know that God has blessed me far beyond what I deserve in this life, He has not rewarded me according to my iniquity nor recompensed me according to my sins. I am the undeserving pauper who approached God one morning after trashing my life and the lives of many around me and asked for a place to stay, a meal, a couple bucks to get home, and a kind word. I got them all. How can I but give what little God has given to me to someone who asks for no particular reason but that they have the balls to ask?
Saturday, November 26, 2005
Sacred Exhaustion
It occurred to me today that I'm just too busy for spiritual thoughts lately. Its like being on spiritual autopilot lately... its not that I've lost my spiritual life or that I don't think of spiritual things, or at least want to, its just that life is so overwhelmingly filled with wellll....life, I just don't have time to "spiritually" reflect on it much. Maybe that's a good thing. I have to BE spiritual on the firing line when life doesn't give me a chance to contemplate and ruminate and consider, and not just THINK about being spiritual.
It's only 9:15pm on Saturday night...I'd love to tell you about my day, the services, the nuns, the new "stray" that showed up at our Mission tonight, but I'm dead. By the way, the Hours and Divine Liturgy this morning went well. Gracias a Dios. Goodnight.
It's only 9:15pm on Saturday night...I'd love to tell you about my day, the services, the nuns, the new "stray" that showed up at our Mission tonight, but I'm dead. By the way, the Hours and Divine Liturgy this morning went well. Gracias a Dios. Goodnight.
Tuesday, November 22, 2005
Senor, ten piedad!
This coming Saturday I'll have the privilege of serving as the Reader for the first Spanish divine liturgy of the first Spanish Mission in Arizona at St.'s Peter and Paul OCA in Phoenix. I learned elementary Spanish in 5-7th grades in Taiwan.... yes, that's not a typo. Taiwan. I went to a Catholic school served by Dominican nuns from the Phillipines. So we learned Spanish from them. Of course that was 43 years ago...but I took Spanish 1 at our local community college a few years ago because I had a lot of Hispanic employees. I know mostly basic stuff and construction vocabulary. And I can read better than I can speak. Fr. Isadore was thrilled that I can read Spanish because it was going to be just him and his wife doing the service. I hope I don't embarrass him. My Hispanic employees say my accent isn't bad for a Chinese Gringo speaking "Mexican".
It occurred to me...I guess I'm Reader Cheech AND Chong. Two natures in one person....
It occurred to me...I guess I'm Reader Cheech AND Chong. Two natures in one person....
Sunday, November 20, 2005
Who Invented 24 Hour Days?
Its not enough. Of course my clients don't really care about how I spend my days as long as THEIR project gets done. I'm supposed to spend about 8 hours a day on 5 jobs I have going at any one time lately. I'm lucky if I get 3-4 hours a day on each of them, plus travel in between and all that other stuff like eating and sleeping in between. All the jobs are getting done but it doesn't matter how much I get done, unless my body is at their house they think nothing is happening. So I do my residential work in the daytime and my commercial work at night. The commercial projects are open 24/7 and as long as when they come to the office in the morning and see something different they don't care how long I was there the night before.
So I sleep in my car while I'm driving mostly. Those little catnaps at the intersections and on the long stretches of straight freeway help a lot. Well, I gotta try to get some sleep tonight. Last night between my father in law gagging, the phone call from Mt. Athos at 3:30am and then a call from someone at 4:30am wanting to know what time liturgy at our Mission starts, I didn't get much sleep. Goodnight all.
So I sleep in my car while I'm driving mostly. Those little catnaps at the intersections and on the long stretches of straight freeway help a lot. Well, I gotta try to get some sleep tonight. Last night between my father in law gagging, the phone call from Mt. Athos at 3:30am and then a call from someone at 4:30am wanting to know what time liturgy at our Mission starts, I didn't get much sleep. Goodnight all.
Sunday, November 13, 2005
Harsh or Real?
I re-read my last post and the first part of it sounded kind of harsh. I suppose, yeah. I found out SK had called a couple of people from our Church and panhandled money from them after I had given her enough for the week last Sunday. She ran out of their money too and was hinting around about needing more because a check from her brother hadn't arrived, allegedly.
Here is where alms and reality and "wise as serpents, harmless as doves" etc. kicks in. Now, I've taken in crack whores, hired heroin addicts, drunks...my best friend was a heroin addict and alchoholic who died of an overdose. I'm no stranger to giving without judgment, turning the other cheek, giving my cloak, etc. How do you keep your spiritual integrity and also set boundaries and teach people in deep denial and the abyss of narcissism that the world doesn't revolve around their wants? I don't know. William Glasser (Reality Therapy) said it is cruel and unusual to allow people to live in illusions and unrealistic expectations of how the world really functions. It is really merciful and healing to teach people, even though it is painful in the short run, how reality works. We do it with our kids, why not adults who are in arrested development?
Anyway, yeah, I've learned to be harsh out of compassion and mercy I guess you could say.
Or at least that is the goal. So, I picked SK up for Church again this morning and took her home to the Shelter this afternoon. No cash, no cigarettes, just food and people who care about her. She went home happier than when I picked her up.
Here is where alms and reality and "wise as serpents, harmless as doves" etc. kicks in. Now, I've taken in crack whores, hired heroin addicts, drunks...my best friend was a heroin addict and alchoholic who died of an overdose. I'm no stranger to giving without judgment, turning the other cheek, giving my cloak, etc. How do you keep your spiritual integrity and also set boundaries and teach people in deep denial and the abyss of narcissism that the world doesn't revolve around their wants? I don't know. William Glasser (Reality Therapy) said it is cruel and unusual to allow people to live in illusions and unrealistic expectations of how the world really functions. It is really merciful and healing to teach people, even though it is painful in the short run, how reality works. We do it with our kids, why not adults who are in arrested development?
Anyway, yeah, I've learned to be harsh out of compassion and mercy I guess you could say.
Or at least that is the goal. So, I picked SK up for Church again this morning and took her home to the Shelter this afternoon. No cash, no cigarettes, just food and people who care about her. She went home happier than when I picked her up.
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