Elder Ephraim, a world famous "Geronda" formerly of Mount Athos who now resides at St. Anthony's Monastery in Arizona has added a new "Pre-Lenten Sunday" to the Triodion.
When asked why he would do something so unprecedented and break nearly 1200 years of Church Tradition he explained, "I have been in America now for over a decade. I have met so many American people both Greeks and converts who struggle with the American culture. That is why we had to make the monastery like an "Orthodox Theme Park" to keep people's interest. The American Orthodox Church is unique in its spiritual needs. Orthodoxy has always responded to the culture of its host nation and so I have decided American Orthodox people need six Sundays to prepare for Lent instead of the Traditional five. I explain to my spiritual children it is kind of like adding another round of playoffs before the Super Bowl so try to look at it with some glee, as perhaps another chance make the wild card into heaven. And besides that I have tons of street cred so I can get away with it."
The Elder continued, "I thought very hard about the confessions I have heard and the things I overhear people talking about walking around the Monastery grounds... much of it I cannot repeat except maybe in Greek. I knew this additional Sunday would have to make sense in the grand scheme of the Lenten progression of giving up our passions gradually. So with all this in mind, I have decided to insert an additional Sunday in between "Meatfare Sunday" and "Cheesefare Sunday". This seemed like the perfect place to add "Beefcake-fare Sunday" in which all households are cleansed of "cheesy Beefcake photographs of Orthodox celebrities, such as this one..."