It Finally Looks Like a Church!

Last night about ten men from the Homeless Shelter came to the Great Canon of St. Andrew instead of Fr. Damian and me going there for the weekly service and Bible study. This morning they came and helped us take down the deck that we've left up until the dome was far enough along that I can finish it from scaffolding. We took it down in four sections. Javier is cutting it away from the staircase.

A section of the deck weighs a few hundred pounds, so the more the merrier.


The deck is gone and all that is left is the "stairway to heaven". This is my helper, Javier, getting ready to cut the landing.
The deck is gone and the entire nave is open area now. Our priest, Fr. Damian is standing on a ladder where the Iconostasis will be.

We now begin finishing the bottom of the dome and the rest of the ceilings. The stripes in the dome are streaks of wet plaster and drywall joint compound.

This is a view of one side of the nave from the altar area and from on top of the scaffold I'm working on in the previous picture. With the deck gone we were able to finish the arches. The other side of the nave mirrors this, so we actually have a cruciform Church. The choir will be on one side and the Kliros will be opposite on the other side. The door you see will be the entry into the Church. There is a covered patio that we will eventually enclose for a narthex.
This is me. Sitting. Finally. Whew. What a day.
After Presanctified Liturgy we all processed from our temporary meeting area over to the Church so the Mission members could see what had been done today. We had a single light bulb to light the space and we sang the Troparia of St. John the Theologian and "O Lord of Hosts Be With Us" from Great Compline. In all of my years it was one of the most moving moments of my life. Glory to God.

Lent

This is one of the finest Lenten meditations I have ever read.
I won't even try to do better. Just read it HERE

Details, Details

One of the structural issues was holding up the high part of the building when we remove the loft area below the dome. We have four structural columns in the middle of the nave area holding up some beams that are holding up the building. Necessary, but ugly.


Just wrapping them with drywall seemed pretty boring. Last night before The Great Canon of St. Andrew I had an idea. This morning we drove around looking for what I had imagined and found it. We went to the Church and started cutting and nailing leftover plywood and lumber from the dome

...and made some arches to go between the columns and under the beams... the wood ceiling behind Javier is the deck that will be removed that will open the ceiling up to the dome.
This is the quarter inch Sheetrock (bender board) being installed on the radius.
This is the cornerbead and flexible arch bead installed
...and then mudded with the coup de grace installed: Precast concrete corbles I found for only 20 bucks each!

I've used carved wooden ones before on this same detail and they run about 150.00 each. When these are painted you won't know the difference.
This is the view of the left side of the nave from the altar area. Each column will have a corble/arch detail.

Drywall Helpers to the Rescue!

The drywall hanging began in earnest today. About 10 people came today and helped put up about 50 sheets of drywall on the ceilings and walls in the lower parts of the nave while Javier and I did the more complicated and difficult parts (being trained professionals and all that). God bless those guys, most of them tap keyboards and click mouses for livings... and even I was sore after today, so I can imagine how they felt at Vespers tonight. But the "Glory to God" and "WOW" factor of building a Church is worth the pain.

This is the ceiling above the altar and we're beginning the sheetrock the area behind the altar between the windows where the Platytera Icon will go (not the one in the link per se)

This is the area behind the altar viewed from up high from the back of the nave, the dome is not quite finished being plastered yet.


And this is the dome and high window on the back wall of the nave viewed from the altar area.

Dome Plastering Begins

I had a job reschedule yesterday so I had a chance to go to the Church and do the wire lathing for the dome. This is a fine meshed "diamond lath" that is very flexible but when stretched and installed well, holds its shape and holds plaster very well. It is also razor sharp. It is stapled to the ribs. I used about 2000 staples to attach the lath (with a compressor and air stapler...not one of those you squeeze by hand.) At the end of the day you usually have a dozen or more tiny cuts and gouges all over your hands and arms from working with it (waaah)....
(For those new to blogs, you can click on the pictures to enlarge them to see the details better).

Today I had another job fall through. Javier and I and Fr. Damian hung the rest of the ceilings in the nave and our City Construction Inspector showed up and gave us a "green tag" on the lathing, so I was able to begin plastering the dome today (yay!). I'm using a product called Structolite. It is a lightweight but strong interior plastering system which doesn't weigh down the lathing and stretch it out of shape like heavier cement and sand based stucco would do. However, it will still take over 600 pounds of plaster to get the basic shape of the dome and get it ready for the final smooth coats.

This is the initial "scratch coat" which you push through the holes in the lath and it fills in the lath and provide some rigidity to the entire structure. After this is done and cured, there will be 2 more coats of plaster then two smooth coats of drywall joint compound over that.


I'm lovin' it!

Fairy Tales and Science

Science and Fairy Tales have one thing in common...

but only one is telling you the truth. Steve the Builder tells you who it is.

Faceless Book

JamestheThickheaded has a hilarious post about his recent dive into social networking that is told in his inimitable stream of conciousness and Rorschachish mixed metaphorical way.

To me, setting up a social networking page is kinda like buying a fixer upper house... Oh, it has so much potential to be such a beautiful place, look at all the neat features and wonderful things in it...and you spend all this time fixing up your "house", in fact it starts consuming you...and hey!...look at all the people from the past that ummmm... come out of the woodwork to visit you. And it ends up being kinda like THIS

So, I think I'll take the advice...I'll "get out" before I get in and before I need an exorcism to remove my Facebook site. And I will continue to have the freedom of not sitting for hours trying to figure out who someone is and if my wife might care if the woman with the Elvira avatar is my "friend", having to decide which total strangers or casual internet aquaintances to befriend or not, and I won't spend my evenings turning down invitation after invitation by the same to be someone's "friend, contact, significant someone, casual aquaintance #3,764, mutual admirer, network associate, buddy, or long lost grade, junior high, high school, college, religious or business chum".

If you're my friend, you probably have my email address or phone number. Good 'nuff.

I'm Really Too Old for This

We got our inspections and started drywalling the ceilings today. In order to not have to put fire sprinklers in we had to hang the building with 5/8" fire code sheetrock. It weighs about 130 pounds a sheet. Getting them 14 feet in the air is a challenge. A couple Mission members and some men from the Shelter helped lift the sheets. It's looking like a Church!

Crosses

Father James (who has a great Bible study podcast on Icon New Media Network) had an interesting post on his blog about a 170 foot cross erected by a Church in Houston.



As always the comments are interesting to follow.

I happened to be at St. Anthony's Monastery in Florence today working on the guest quarters. As I strolled through the grounds showing my helper around we came across this.

Is there really a difference?

Dome Update

Today I finished putting the "ribs" in the dome of the Church. It is ready for wire lath and plaster after our rough framing and electrical inspections next week. For perspective on size, that is Anthony, one of the men from the homeless shelter that Fr. Damian and I pray daily Vespers and teach Bible study at on Thursday nights. (He's not that tall, he is standing on the deck of the loft that will be removed after I do the plastering.) They sent four men over to help with insulation and electrical work today.

Javier started on the framing of the altar area. There will be a 6' high by 9' wide wall that will go up to the 14 foot ceiling behind and over the altar for an icon of the Panagia. The blacked out areas are large windows that the wall will cover. The side windows that angle upward will be on either side of the altar and will stay for natural light into the Church.

Homeless, Hungry, God Bless

The expanded podcast version of "Who Do You See" is now available at Ancient Faith Radio.

Building St. John's Church, Dome Update

We're continuing construction on our Mission's Church building. As Javier and I were framing the ceiling last week I decided we had enough height to build a dome inside the ceiling structure. Fr. Damian was at the OCA Western Diocesan Mission's Conference for the week so I was just going to do it as a suprise, but decided I probably should call Fr. Damian and discuss it with him. When I called he was in a session with the Bishop about the necessity of beauty in our ethos of worship and had talked to an architect about our building design... and they were discussing changing the structure to reflect a more traditional Church. So, I got the blessing to proceed.

The disk is the top of the dome structure at the center of the nave.


This is the bottom rim of the 10 foot diameter dome. We cut and build it on the floor then hang it from the rafters.
This is the bottom of the dome being installed and levelled. The bottom rim of the dome will be the ceiling height of the building at fourteen feet.

This is the roughed in structure. We will design and cut about forty arched "ribs" that will be the actual shape of the dome.


This is us (well...me) installing the "ribs" for the shape of the dome. These will hold the wire lath for the plaster.
Javier is framing loose ends in the dome area for backing and support for the dome and the ribs.

This is Father Damian, our priest, who has quite a bit of experience in construction. He spent most of the afternoon cutting the ribs while Javier and I framed and installed them. We got about one fourth of the ribs done today.

FINALLY!

The FDA just approved a new drug for the chronically happy. YAY!

On Becoming a Saint (Please scroll down line by line as you read)

We become saints by living according to what God has given us, nothing more, nothing less. We often live in envy or jealousy of someone else's life and in doing so miss our own life and vocation.

St. Paul in I Corinthians 12 talks about the "unseemly members" of the body being the more necessary. In Romans 9 he talks about the Potter and the clay and that God fashions some vessels for honorable use (Ming Vases) and some for dishonorable use (toilets), but in the end you can live without a Ming vase easier than the other and in a pinch you'd use a Ming vase for dishonorable purposes.

I told the men at the Shelter, the reality is that more of us are toilets than vases and our purpose is taking crap from life and other people gracefully, like Christ who took all the crap Satan and humanity could dump on Him as God. "Dishonorable use" doesn't mean "going to hell" it just means we are perhaps blessed with a greater and more needful purpose and therefore will have greater temptations and trials in life. Those who have it "easy" don't often become saints.

It is those who fulfill their purpose and are willing to take the crap and do the "dirty work" of being holy, who go to and associate with the lowly, the dirty, the dregs- and yes, even the assholes - who are the ones who are saved and who save those around them. The saint in this icon is the one you can't see... like most of the saints in this life.

Last Chance

As Lent looms large on the horizon the Orthodox blogosphere is ripe with posts about fasting, food and anticipatory fear of the 54 days of spiritual discipline. So I'll join the parade and just in case there is some prodigal Orthodox person who only reads my blog, I'm putting you on notice: Meatfare Sunday is upon us! Last chance for a corn dog pizza...
...or my favorite: The Big-Bacon-Cheese-Mac- Three bacon grilled cheese sandwiches as buns, 2 all beef patties and, of course, bacon.... hold the sesame seeds, lettuce and pickles, please.

If it wasn't for the services and hymnography and beauty of the season, Lent would be hell.

Orthodox Celebrities

WARNING: CURMUDGEON RANT

OK, sure, I live in Arizona. The Cardinals lost. Yeah, I was disappointed. But the Superbowl was probably the fourth football game I've watched in my life. Its the third one I've watched in the past year including the last Superbowl that I watched with my son who was from Boston. (The last one before that was when Bart Starr lept over the top of the Dallas defense in the final seconds to win the AFC championship in ... ummm, 1966?) So, all that to say, this isn't sour grapes.... I'm not that invested in "my hometown team".

Anyway, I've probably gotten a dozen or more emails and seen as many blog posts about.... (I had to stop here to look up his name) Troy Polamalu, the Orthodox football player for the Steelers, who frequents St. Anthony's Monastery and talks to the Elder for spiritual direction. I guess that makes him.... what? Either an Orthodox Christian who happens to be a football star, or a football star who happens to be Orthodox.

If he's an Orthodox Christian who happens to be a football star, he's no different than any other Orthodox Christian. I know Orthodox Christians who happen to be secretaries, cable installers, CEO's, cooks, janitors, tile setters and recovering this and thats. All of them are serious about their faith, some of them even go to St. Anthony's and talk to the Elder. All of them are kinda screwed up in their own unique ways and are struggling to become like Christ in their private arenas. Whose spiritual warfare is harder, Troy or the cable installer or the cook? We don't know. But I do know no one sends around emails about them.

If he's a football star who happens to be Orthodox, he's no different than any other Orthodox Christian. The question we have to ask is "Why does his stardom (or anyone's stardom) add anything to our regard for him as an Orthodox Christian?" The answer to that question is probably more about us than about him. His icons are already all over the internet. His hagiography is published in blogs and emails. I'm sure that if it could be aquired, relics of his hair and Superbowl sweat and threads of his grass stained jersey would be coveted by many. But in reality he's a Steeler, not a Saint. Perhaps by the grace of God he will be a saint one day, but until that day the fact that he can tackle someone is no more a plus or minus to the work he has to do to attain sainthood than cleaning a toilet well, troubleshooting a cable connection or grilling a burger medium rare.

I think we would do well to temper our enthusiasm for Orthodox celebrities. Worldly accomplishments are admirable within a small set of parameters no matter what anyone does. I can't tackle Larry Fitzgerald, Troy probably can't frame a barrel vaulted ceiling. It just happens that if you can tackle Larry you can make 7 million a year and be watched by 3 billion people missing a tackle. But what does that have to do with being Orthodox? What makes us both Orthodox is the inner life and the spiritual warfare in the context of our unique lives within the Church. The spiritual warfare is just as intense and just as hard for the cable guy in a one bedroom trailer with a minimum wage job and a child on the way as it is driving home from the locker room of the Superbowl champions in a Ferrari.

OK, I do think its cool he's Orthodox. If I see him at St. Anthony's I might be tempted for a couple seconds to ask for his autograph or at least say hi to him so I can tell my kids I said HI to Troy. I'm still human. But so is he, and we should hold him in the same regard and with the same awe as the person who is standing next to us in Liturgy: both are seeking the Kingdom and both are in the arena in mortal combat with the devil for the salvation of their souls. And perhaps some day both will be Saints.

We Have a Building Permit!

Our Mission recently moved to a two acre
plot of land that used to be a model house
display for "True Value" manufactured
homes that has basically gone out of business. You can see an arial view on our website's home page (click "more information" next to the thumbnail picture). The building you see here is in the upper left of the picture. The owner has rented us the land and 4 buildings for 3,500.00, less than what it would cost us to rent one piece of commercial space that would barely house our current Mission's needs. The land is two blocks off the freeway, fronts University Drive, main thoroughfare, and is one mile from Arizona State University. There is an unfinished mountain chalet that we are going to remodel as a Church building. (The land is a park-like setting with paths between the houses and a gazebo in the center that you can see.) We are currently holding services in one of the other houses in the living room. Once we move in here, the other three buildings will become offices, classrooms, and parish hall.

This is part of the interior that we are reframing
for the altar area. My helper Javier is putting up the header for the royal doors, to the left in the picture is one of the deacon's doors. The staircase he is standing on goes up to a loft that will eventually be removed to open up the area for the nave. To the far left where the windows are will be remodeled and become the narthex and the choir and chanter's area. (Editor's note: this eventually changed, but in later posts you will see how the building took on a "life of its own" and ended up far more beautiful than we imagined at this stage.)






Here we are bracing up the high A-framed ceiling in order to remove the weight bearing wall and put in new headers to hold up the up the building. This will allow us to remove the loft and the bedroom wall to open the entire area to become the nave.













This is the wall removed and new headers
installed. The loft will be removed after
we install the electrical, ductwork and
insulation in the ceiling areas above the
loft. We're doing 90% of the work with volunteers and on my "down days", which there have been a lot of lately with the economy. We have a budget of about 12,000.00 to do the remodelling, and we've managed to find a few really good deals on materials on Craig's list. One person whose electrical contracting business went bankrupt gave us almost all the electrical supplies we needed as a donation. If all goes well, we hope to hold Holy Week and Pascha services here instead of our living room.

Who Do You See?

"When did we see you hungry and feed you, or thirsty and give you drink? When did we see you a stranger and invite you in, or naked and clothe you? And when did we see you sick or in prison and come to you?" (Matt. 25:37)



The reality is we see Christ every day. The omnipotent, self-existent, eternal Creator of all took on our human flesh with all of its fallen limitations and needs. God entered the death imprisoned world as a hungry, thirsty, naked, homeless infant. Like all of us He needed food, drink, clothing and shelter even as an adult, even as God.

The homeless are an icon of the fallen nature of our true humanity and the dependence we have on others for even our basic human needs. The homeless in reality are a mirror for our own wandering, our own hunger and thirst for something beyond ourselves, our own prisons, our own shame and nakedness that makes us hide behind our masks and avoid love and communion. We avoid eye contact with the person holding the sign because his face is our mirror, if we look into it we might be convicted of who we really are: lonely, afraid, beaten, compassionless, merciless, unforgiving, judgmental, angry, respecter of persons, proud, stingy and ungrateful.

But the homeless person IS the sign. He is the sign of the Kingdom come upon you and he will be with us always because we always need to be pointed toward the Kingdom. Will you turn away. Will you obey the sign and walk the path toward it?

(Thanks to Allan Boyd for the image from his blog on ministry to the marginalized and hopeless: The Living End please check it out.)

There is no God?

This is a video about finding out what an anthill looks like beneath the surface. The structure is astounding, but the line in the video that is more astounding is almost an aside: The complexity of the structure looks like it was designed by an architect, a single mind, but it is the product of the "collective mind" of the ant colony. I don't know if that was meant to be more amazing or less than a "single mind". Either way, the implication is being able to design something so complex is just an "instinct" that has somehow evolved and is somehow communicated among billions of insects across what is relative to their size, miles of distance between them, with brains the size of 6 point font "period" that die quickly and are replaced... It seems to beg the question: What did the first and only ant that evolved do and did it come with all of this "instinct" built in somehow...if not, how did it survive until the specie "ant" evolved further and got its "ant act" down? Beats me, but I'm sure someone has it figured out.

One person sees random chemicals and another sees God. Go figure. Enjoy.

And When You Have Turned...

I just returned from doing a Bible study at a homeless shelter/rehab facility for men. One of the men asked last week about the passage in Luke 22:38 where the disciples say, "We have two swords" and Jesus replies, "It is enough." Why did Jesus say two swords is enough? This is the synopsis of the talk and discussion (without the schizophrenic guy's comments....)

We looked at the passage in its greater context. It is the Last Supper. The disciple's response to Jesus' statement that one of them will betray Him is to argue about who is the greatest among themselves. Jesus, having washed their feet and served them the Supper says, "The greatest is the servant of all, as I have been to you" and tells of His Passion. Peter says he will go to prison and even die for Him. Jesus tells Peter, "Satan has asked to thresh you like wheat, and you will deny me, but when you have turned, strengthen your brothers."

This is us. Jesus humbly serves, we don't notice it and instead of comparing ourselves to Him we compare ourselves to our brethren and think we're greater than the next guy because WE'D never do what HE did. Jesus tells us we'll betray Him in a heartbeat (like Peter) or even after long deliberation (like Judas), and we are grandiose and "think more highly of ourselves than we ought" (Rom. 12:6). Jesus invites us to His passion and we believe we'll actually participate, even to the death. But when the spiritual life looks a little painful or demands a commitment, we cut and run.... long before death or even discomfort. Satan demands a shot at us all and God will permit it for our sakes and our brethren...no humbling spiritual growth is for ourselves, it is always for making us a servant.

A couple days ago I worked at a bazillion dollar house and one of the artifacts they had was an antique wheat thresher that looks like this. It is a large board with hundreds of flint blades embedded in it that is dragged over the top of the wheat to separate the chaff from the wheat grains.


This is what Jesus was telling Peter: You will be threshed. It will hurt. A lot. It is the only way to break through the outer husk and expose the grain that will become bread for the hungry. When your chaff is removed, through your repentance you will be able to minister to your brethren. It is a spiritual warfare, take up a sword. Peter says, we have two. He doesn't get it yet.

Two swords among eleven apostles. Jesus knows there is a garrison of Roman soldiers coming with Judas to take Him away. Two swords are enough? For what?

Two swords are enough to teach the disciples what they needed to know. None of them were as great as they thought and argued about. Peter, the one who would die with Christ, had one of the swords, and he bravely cuts off the ear of a servant boy, not a Roman soldier, and he runs away... he didn't go to prison, he didn't die. The other sword? It probably never got drawn. Peter then denies his Friend. Two swords were enough to make the point Jesus needed to make: You are weak, you are deluded, you don't get it. My kingdom is not of this world, it does not come by power, nor by might, but by My Spirit as Zachariah said.

The men in recovery (as do we all) have two swords always at their disposal. We think of them as our "formidable weapons". God knows we have a false self assessment and are overconfident in our defenses. The men in recovery (as we all are) are normally in a state of delusion. " We would NEVER...... We will ALWAYS be..........We are the greatest", even if we say we are the least. We go to the Garden with Christ with all of our delusions of greatness and martyrdom for His sake, that we will never betray Him. We have two swords. And we take a stab at the least difficult opponent then chicken out.

The two swords are I'm spiritually strong enough.... "I can drink one beer at the party", "I can have one phone call with that old girlfriend", "I can go back to the old neighborhood and hang with the homies for one hour", "I can watch the game at the old bar and just have an iced tea"...or any number of "normal sins". We have a sword, yes, but in the end it is inadequate to defend against the forces of the enemy. But it is enough to humble us, to show us our true self, to bring us to Christ and cast ourselves at His feet seeking forgiveness. And we learn it is not by our power, nor by our might, but by God's Spirit that we enter the Kingdom.

And this is our threshing, the removal of our delusions. It can happen no other way. God can tell us the truth abut who we really are, but most of us have to experience the truth. The removal of chaff is hard. It is painful. It is brutal. But only through the process is wheat revealed and bread can be made.

And when we turn from our self delusion and pride and boasting and turn and humble ourselves before God and lay aside our "swords" and take up the Cross, we can then strengthen the brethren.

It is humbling to be in the presence of 20 men who are being threshed, who are facing their denial and failure, who stink of the pig pen but are on the road home to the Father. May they find His embrace, His robe, His ring, His Fatted Calf and their place in His house once again.

Steve The Builder Begins

My first solo podcast is now available at Ancient Faith Radio

Avid followers of my blog will recognize some of the themes and subjects of several of the initial podcasts, but they've been expanded, sanitized and fleshed out for general consumption.

Bill and I will continue doing Our Life in Christ as we can hammer out time out of our mutual kid/life/work/church schedules, but this is a bit of a hobby for in between.

Newly Illumined

Yesterday the family of people at St. John the Evangelist OCA Mission welcomed five new people into its midst. Welcome Alexis, Veronica, Mary, Photini and Irene!

Chuck Norris Facts

OK, I admit it.... I LOVE these!

When the boogey man goes to sleep at night, he checks under his bed for Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris doesn't read books, he stares them down until they give him the information he wants.

Chuck Norris has counted to infinity.... twice.

Chuck Norris also knows the last digit of PI.

Chuck Norris can lead a horse to water... AND make it drink.

Chuck Norris doesn't wear a watch, HE decides what time it is.

Only Chuck Norris can slam a revolving door.

Chuck Norris can cook Minute Rice in ten seconds.

Chuck Norris doesn't get frostbite. Chuck Norris bites frost.

When Chuck Norris falls in water, Chuck Norris doesn't get wet, water gets Chuck Norris.

Superman wears Chuck Norris pajamas.

Chuck Norris CAN believe its not butter.

Chuck Norris can divide by zero.

When Walker Texas Ranger aired in France they surrendered to him just to be on the safe side.

Nobody doesn't like Sara Lee. Except Chuck Norris.

It takes Chuck Norris 20 minutes to watch 60 Minutes.

There is no CTRL key on Chuck Norris' computer. Chuck Norris is always in control.

Chuck Norris CAN judge a book by its cover.

There are no weapons of mass destruction in Iraq. Chuck Norris lives in Oklahoma.

If you don't at first succeed, you're not Chuck Norris.

I've added this for the benefit of those who have lived in the darkness of a Chuckless existence. Prepare for illumination.

The Orthodox Answer-man

(This is a revision and expansion of a real, slightly tongue in cheek email posted on an Orthodox discussion list...)

Dear Subdeacon S-P,
There are so many Orthodox people on the internet with agendas these days, I think I need one too! What are my options? Help me find a good one because I'll just end up picking something lame and uninteresting.
Sincerely,
Through the prayers of Ven. Melania of Rome, Ven. Chiriacos of Bisericani, New Heiromartyrs Thaddeus Upensky, Archbishop of Tver, Archbishop Velekii Ustiug, commemorated this day, and Barsanuphius, patron saint of me the greatest of sinners and bowing before you in all humility (but not kissing your right hand because you don't have the grace of the priesthood),
xxxxx

Dear xxxx,
Welcome to "Orthodoxy on the Internet"! You obviously have experienced the illumination of internet spirituality and have realized you need help in attaining blogotheosis. However, be forewarned if you are new to this: the only ultimate recognition for your efforts will be to be canonized as a martyr on the www Ortho-sphere. So if you are prepared to lay down your life for an agenda, there are several things you need to consider when picking an Orthodox agenda to give your life to.

F'rinstance, if you are constitutionally lazy you don't want to pick one that requires a lot of research, learning a dead language so no one can argue with you about your translations, or learning even a new language so you can read rare documents about your area of expertise. Also you wouldn't want to enter an area where you have no innate talents, like chanting, if you can't sight read and sing photocopies of 12th century Byzantine notation in dim candle light already. You also need to consider how much spare time you have to go through 1.4 billion google search results to know enough to sound authoritative for at least a few email rounds of arguing with someone who inevitably will have an opposing agenda before you bail out of a discussion in a huff. I would recommend that you have enough esoteric knowledge buried at LEAST past the 40 million search results so no normal Ortho-net person can challenge you readily.

But, the reality is, most newbies to agendas get passionate and excited and start tossing their newfound knowledge into discussion lists before they are well prepared. If you find yourself being Patristics-Tazed by some Ortho-geek out there who takes you on, here is what I teach the "catechumens to Ortho-agendas" as the proper way to extricate yourself from the discussion. You say something like: "This passionate discussion is not good for my soul...The Fathers were obviously illumined by "xxxxx" which I am trying to present to you. I should be praying instead of trying to PROVE my point to the uninitiated who are in bondage to the western phronema and need rational intellectual proof that I am correct. " Then lay low for a few days and post safe stuff like from the Philokalia or put up Youtube links to hidden camera videos of services on Mt. Athos and add smiley face emoticons to as much stuff as you can. This will disarm people and make them less suspicious of you later.

You might also consider that some agendas will make you look smart, some will make you seem pious, but some will just make you look goofy. It is difficult to find one that makes you look smart AND pious without knowing a dead language that only monks used. Piety and goofy are often confused, but as long as you stick with any pious praxis, dress, customs or liturgical prayer forms from an "old country" that is at least pre-1700 you are pretty safe. It is even better if the group you are imitating was oppressed by some "Orthodox emporer" or Patriarch.

A good way to beta- test an agenda is talk passionately about it with a couple visitors and one member of your parish council at coffee hour and watch for their reactions. If the priest comes and talks to you about it, you know you might be on to something. But, you want to google your agenda and see who else is on the bandwagon. If all the websites are in foreign languages, you have a good instant niche among English only converts. If all the websites/blogs/lists are in English, check out the profiles of the owners. If they are former/current members of the Society for Creative Anachronism (SCA), Star Trek Fan Club, or have a picture of Yoda, Sir Gallahad, Batman, or the Sith Warrior as their avatar, you might not want to take up the cause.

Anyway, just some suggestions. Good luck finding an agenda!

Sincerely,

The O A-m

Speaking of Jesus...

These videos were made by a church to show people how non-Christians sometimes view Jesus because of the way Christianity is presented. The movie used for the over-dubbed voices is the perfect vehicle. My favorite line: "What in the name of me is going on here?"

Nativity Thought

I was listening to the Gospel reading this past Sunday, the geneology of Jesus according to Matthew. This week we had all of our kids (and our new grandson) together all at once for Christmas for the first time in ten years. At 56 years and being far enough along to say I can look back on life, the geneology of Jesus took on some human significance for me. In years past in a way they were names, discreet points of reference like dots on history. On Sunday they were people. They had lives, futures, pasts, wives, kids and mundane things like jobs, sins, hopes and dashed dreams. And yet in the mundaneness of life and obliviousness to the working of the providence of God in a picture so big it would not be believed if God Himself told them, their faithfulness, and lack of faithfulness in many cases, brought forth the salvation of the world.

In the hands of God, nothing in our life is therefore insignificant, even to 42 generations hence.

Just Plain Cool Deux

OK...how'ds he do this?

In the Grand Scheme of Things

It seems like a catastrophe...but its really just an inconvenience.

My desktop computer stopped computing last night while I slept. I got up and went to check my email....No blue screen, no lights, just the fan running. The computer repair guy pronounced the motherboard dead. He told me I can retrieve my documents and files...5 years worth of digital pictures, 7 gigs of research and documents, 125 Our Life in Christ radio programs and 10 finished podcasts for a new program I'm doing for Ancient Faith Radio to be announced soon. So, yay for that. (I do have some backups...I learned SOMETHING from my last crash.)

New computer is being built (actually I have them built because for the most part the ones from the store have way too much stuff I don't use/need, and I get what I need for about 250.00). I just don't look forward to spending my Saturday reloading all my software and re-setting up all my accounts etc. And I have to figure out how retrieve my email address book. I never figured out how to back that up. sigh.

Until then, I have to work from my laptop. I hate the keyboard and its slower than the Cherubic hymn. Waah. Poor me.

Just Plain Cool

I used to be able to juggle three balls. Now I only juggle seven liturgical books at the chanter's stand. But I can still appreciate this

The War Gets Personal

I received this in an email from a friend who was just deployed to Iraq for the second time.
I've known several people who have done tours there, but Felix's emails need to be syndicated.
So, I'm passing this on to my readers in hopes they will pass it on and perhaps he will find someone who is willing to give him a wider audience than the Ortho-blogosphere. Please keep him and his fellow soldiers in mind while you are giving Thanks tomorrow.

Tonight we would fly through Iraq's own sky. The birds of hydraulic oil and steel came in one by one and set down for the real work had yet begun. Our bags were packed hours ago spent the night with us waiting on the airfield below. With our bags were finally loaded, we could muster aboard. These flying buses would transport us to world unknown and very far from home.

We eventually shuffled on board and situated ourselves like sardines in a can. The only difference is sardines weren't often packed with large bags on their lap. The night was bright and the stars above were our only hope of visible light. The air had a bite but I liken it to a baby with no teeth so no damage was done.

With the engines whining and rotors turning for flight, we took off climbing into atmosphere enclosed in darkness and lacking of life. My nerves have always found comfort in this type of flight, which was quick and stealthy because of pilots, like my brother Russ, and the crew members, like my cousin Paul, that make our nation's aviation truly second to none the world has ever known, not now or ever.

As I looked out back of this helicopter in flight in the void that we call night, I saw many things that gave me pause or one my say, insight. The crews feet did dangle from the back of the craft in flight like fingers running the blackest of hair, which you and I know of as the night. I looked in on the trees below. I watched the trees as they slept and stood their ground with centurions of streets lamps staggered all around.

We flew past a pond that looked like God spilled milk on the ground below but sought not to clean it up because it look cool on the ground. It was a night with no moon so there was limited light to assist one to see.

I remarked to myself and I looked ahead and below. I know what the edges of the look like, simply barren and alone. I see a village with life and lights and then I see nothing all in the same fight.

As the miles passed by, I saw a fire raging below. Her dance was long and slow. The show she put on was cast in a memorizing glow but I could not watch long because I was moving very fast and had far to go, eventually I lost sight of her and her translucent glow.

As I've had the privilege to do many times before, I looked Orion in the face and he remember me by name. We exchange looks like someone bumbing into an old friend, who knew you from a different time and place. We nodded our heads and kept to our own direction and pace with the knowledge we see each other because we've yet to finish this life's race.

At night all the worlds seems the same, we all seem to have desires very similar or same. A place to lay our head and those we love in safety. To dream with our belly's full and our hearts content. Most wanting nothing more than a house and place to pass hours of the night in slumbering delight with those we love and to whom we say, "Goodnight."

We eventually landed and I said my goodbye's to Orion, the birds, and the night ever expanding sky. It was at last time for a little work and then off to bed.

Now many of you begin your Thanksgiving day anew, with family and fully belly, packed and tight. I have some food for thought that I want to give to you. It's taken me a week to cook up for you.

Remember, my home is America where I sleep with little fear and much rest. Here I've learned, again, to fall asleep with the sounds of machine gunfire echoing in the distance. I have much to say when I lay my head on my pillow, pray, and say, "Amen."

Thankful I am for the land and people I call home and return I must. My platform is raised because I stand on the shoulders of danger only to see what America is and truly can be. My thoughts are with you as you get together and feast. I encourage you all to love more and be all that God wants you to be.

It's funny but I don't think a life worth living is the one of ease but the one where sacrifices are made. The closer you are to death the more beauty you find in life. A life where mistakes are made and lessons learned. How learning to go without gives value to what you have now or will have. How learning that what we want is not as important as what we seek to give. Well, that's all I have for now. Take care and thanks for what you do.

In Him,

Felix

P.S. Have another plate on Thanksgiving for me....go ahead eat that extra cake or pie! I would have....

Everything's Amazing, and No One is Happy

I was following a Sparklett's Water truck on the freeway yesterday. The poster on the back side said "The taste you deserve without the calories!"

Ummmm.... "The taste you deserve"? Who DESERVES taste??? And why?

The sense of of entitlement is one of the latest narcissistic characteristics of an unabashedly self absorbed culture that advertisers are tapping in to. TV, radio and print ads tell you that you deserve a break, pampering, peace of mind, pleasure in unlimited and boundless quantities, to have bill collectors leave you alone, and yes, even water that has flavor and won't make you fat.

Why do you deserve all that? Simple. Just because you exist.

But not really. You don't deserve it, you feel entitled to it. Advertisers are merely schmoozing your self absorption to separate you from your money (I know that's news to many of you... sorry to burst your bubble). But if you're oblivious and narcissistic enough to believe what they are telling you, you deserve to be screwed and they deserve to get your money. The problem is, as much as we have we believe it is normative and whatever more is added quickly becomes what we are entitled to.

Entitlement is its own hell.

The guy in this video puts it all in perspective:
Everything is amazing and no one is happy.

My Wife is Bored

She says it is time for a new post.

Its hard to blog when nothing slaps you in the face like a cold, wet trout of absurdity. I don't really care about politics (What WILL you do if Obama is elected??? ummmm...be a Christian?).

Here's some good curmudgeon quotes about politics that I enjoyed:

"Politcs, noun: Strife of interests masquerading as a contest of principles." Ambrose Bierce

"Being in politics is like being a football coach: you have to be smart enough to understand the game and dumb enough to think it is important." Eugene McCarthy

"Politics is the art of looking for trouble, finding it whether it exists or not, diagnosing it incorrectly and applying the wrong remedy." Ernest Benn

and my favorite: "Some trust in horses and some in chariots, but we will call on the name of the Lord." some king in the Bible.

The economy is a little more interesting, but I've been self employed through 3 recessions now and have gained weight through all of them. Work has slacked off lately, actually. Christmas might be a little sparse this year, but I still have my internet connection and the light comes on in the refrigerator that has a Sam Adams Cream Stout calling my name. Jesus said "Seek first the kingdom and all these things will be added to you..." Some people I know think that means we kick back and hope money drops out of the sky while I read the Bible, but if we look at the birds of the air, they fly around from dawn to dusk looking for all that food that "God provides" laying all over the ground. If they're hungry enough they'll eat garbage in a Circle K parking lot. I've been hungry enough to mow lawns, dig ditches, build storage shelving in a 150 degree attic for a week, shovel ...well, anyway, if it paid money, I've done it. Pride goes before a fall, but I've learned that lack of pride goes before a meal.

The reality is, if the economy tanks and I lose my house, cars and God forbid, my internet connection and have to move into a trailer park and brush up on "Quieres papas fritas con eso?... Para ir o aqui?" yeah, I could do it and be happy....maybe happier.

Anyway, its late. Nothing earthshattering here, or very interesting. But it is NEW. Much like our government.

I Think I'm Going to Join

I think they are nearly Orthodox...They have cataphatic and apophatic theology, negation, their own liturgical language, experiential relationship with the Deity, transformation of the human person, priesthood, and mysticism. All they are missing is the 8 Tones, Octoechoes, and the 8th Day, but they aren't far from that and apparently very open to the concept .


Say Hebbo! from Torvakian on Vimeo.

Out of the Basement

About six years ago we moved my Father in law in with us when he was dying of progressive supraneural palsy. He was not able to walk up and down steps so we moved into the basement of our house and let him have our master bedroom/bathroom area for his "apartment". His bathroom was right above our bed. We slept in sewage more than once, and had to pull up the carpet in our room. We never replaced it and we just covered our bed with plastic because of the potential for future floods. Gil passed away and I told my wife I'd remodel the master bedroom for her before we moved back in. Unfortunately in the past three years I've taken some big hits financially and money for carpet, a new mattress and bed, moving the closet door, and not to mention the TIME to do it all just wasn't there. But a few months ago I happened on an estate sale and got a magnificent "California-king" 4 poster bed frame and night stands for 400.00. A few weeks ago we found a virtually brand new 1,200.00 mattress on Craig's list for 200.00. I had a job last week at a house where they pulled up nearly new and VERY nice carpet and they gave it to me. And I got paid, AND I had 3 days off. So, I retextured, painted, moved the closet door and rewired the lights, put in 5 inch Victorian baseboard, Bill (my radio buddy) laid the carpet for us, I bought curtains, a new light, bedding, lamps and we moved upstairs Sunday night.

My wife is a saint for living in a ten by twelve brick bare walled room with a concrete floor for so long. Baby, this bed's for you.

Shameless Self Promotion

I recently did an interview with Kevin Allen of "The Illumined Heart" podcast on Ancient Faith Radio. The topic was "lay ministry in the Orthodox Church". From age six as a Roman Catholic, I always believed I would be a priest. Fifty one years later, it hasn't happened either in the Catholic Church, the Episcopal Church (I left before they "discerned me") or the Orthodox Church (I came THIS close...). I did a three year stint as a protestant minister almost 30 years ago, but got fired. So after nearly 40 years as a "lay minister" in various contexts, I figured heck, why not do the interview. Kevin asked some good questions. Its HERE.

OK - Twist My Arm

As long as we're on the subject of goofy worship...

THIS is the "Big Puppet Mass" I believe JTKlopcic was referring to. Personally, I think I prefer "The Way's Lawrence Welk Get Down Boogie Moonwalkers" to the old New Age ballet dancers in this one.

THIS is the "Clown Communion" that someone (actually a lot of people, apparently, by the number of them around the altar) thought was a cool idea. At least they were really clowning around and not just coming off as clowns.

Caveat: It would be unfair to lay any of these weirdnesses at the feet of their respective denominations and presume or even imply that these are sanctioned or approved of by everyone in them. It is however, an indication of the spirit of the age that is woven into the fabric of American western Christianity. "Sacred" is in the eye of the beholder, "edifying" is what appeals to the ego and passions, "relevant" is pandering to agendas and postmodern aesthetics, and "Christian" means nothing except what each person sitting in the pew wants it to mean.

Lord have mercy.

Contemporary Worship

There...just...aren't...words......
Sorry, folks. I had to delete the link because The Way, International must have gotten wind of the traffic to the video and have redirected the link to their home page. I will try to find the original link and repost it in the future. Sly, they are....

Best Friends

Yeah, me and Ronald... we're tight.